I recently stumbled across this article, F-Words: The future of atheism is religion, which quotes another blog at BoingBoing on “Big Tent Atheism”.

I think closeted atheists who participate in other religious activities are the future of atheism. They know that prayer feels good without a needing brain scientist to tell them, and they know you don’t need God to want to feed the hungry, heal the sick, and provide homes for the orphaned. What if they simply stopped reciting the words that they didn’t agree with during religious services, without calling attention to it? In many places I don’t think they would be kicked out or turned upon and beaten just for that.

As a gay man and an atheist I find the above very disturbing.  Although I’m well aware that my “religion,” unlike my sexual orientation, is a belief with no foundation in fact (something a significant portion of Christians could use a dose of), I still feel as though pretending to pray would be as vile as pretending to be heterosexual and it would likely invoke the same nausea.

There is a certain level of hypocrisy that I refuse to breach.  Sitting quietly by while others pray is one thing, but I draw the line at reciting the rosary with anyone – leaving out words or not.

There is also something I know that apparently the author of the above was unaware – prayer doesn’t feel good to me, it’s actually sometimes uncomfortable and almost always leads to comments about how I did not pray.  Prayer for me is less fulfilling than standing in front of the mirror talking to myself.  If prayer were fulfilling, perhaps I would not be an atheist.

There have been many occasions where those around me have joined hands to pray, say the rosary or offer a blessing over their meal – I do live in Texas after all.  Each time I’m in that situation, I make it a point not to lower my head, not to appear to be muttering words to nothing and to remain very quiet and very still.  While I respect their religious choice, I will not “pretend” to be of the same persuasions and beliefs anymore than I would expect them to pretend to be homosexual if they were not.

Perhaps I feel so strongly about this because I spent so many years pretending to be a heterosexual and even more years pretending to be “christian,” or perhaps I’m upset at the inference that atheist organizations wish to have “big tent” meetings and join together in some sort of celebration of … of what?  Does this author expect that atheists will form a new church, “The Church of Atheists for Jesus?”

Believing in the existence of an all powerful deity is exhausting – particularly when their are thousands of organizations claiming their way is the right way, each purportedly acting on behalf of “god.”

Yet the religious opinion seems to have been and will always be, “At least pretend to conform to the way we believe so we don’t have to hate you.”  Oh hypocrisy… didn’t Christ have something to say about that?

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