Breaking Up is Hard to Do: the Obama Administration and I.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do: the Obama Administration and I.

June 15, 2009 Commentary Featured Thought of the Gay 7

ObamaDo you remember the pre-President Obama?  He would stand before a crowd of say, 20 people at a community center talking about the American Dream and living it.  At that time, and currently, he had a “wife” that he loved, someone he could turn to while speaking and say, “Thank you to my beautiful ‘wife’ for helping me live this dream.”

Well Mr. President, I have a dream too. I dream that someday I can stand before a crowd of people and say, “Thank you to my beautiful ‘husband’ for helping me live this dream.”  I like the way that word sounds.  It’s not too formal, like “significant other” or too whimpy like “partner” – both of which belittle what it is I have with my husband.

I’m sure President Obama has experienced horrible levels of discrimination in his life.  He has fought hard and he has triumphed, setting a new era for American Politics.  But through it all did anyone ever say, “Now, do it all again but were taking away your ‘wife?'”

That is what the Defense of Marriage Act and state bans on same-sex marriage are doing, plan and simply.  They are taking away our ability to live the American Dream the same way that Mr. Obama has lived it.

Then I think back to Hillary v. Obama and how the “gays” were torn and our thoughts flowed freely:

Hillary says she supports us, but she helped draft DOMA, her ‘husband” put it into law, her ‘husband’ enacted DADT!  We can’t trust her.  But this guy, this guy, Obama, he’s been there too.  He climbed out of the ‘Club of Disaffection!’

But to climb out, he used our rights as his ladder.  I now find myself trying to find humor in how quickly we cast Hillary out for fear of her doing exactly what it is Obama is doing.  As I said once before: Hillary would be like having Jesus in the White House – only the good Jesus, not the bad one “they” keep lying to you about.

But what can we do about it?  Do we go flocking back to Hillary begging she forgive us for tossing her aside as Obama has tossed us aside?  Do we go begging the Log Cabin Republicans to forgive us and help convince their party that now, as they need redefining, is the time to become strong allies with the gay community and reclaim the White House in 2012?  Or do we continue to hold on to what it was Obama promised us and “be patient” even as he pulls the very same, hateful and deceptive language from a hat that those that would have us criminalized do, “pedophiles?”

Tonight, on Rachael Maddow, Howard Dean more than implied that we have to keep pushing for our rights as Martin Luther King continued to push for Obama’s rights.

If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now — when? — Rabbi Hillel

Be Sociable, Share!


7 Responses

  1. Goombah says:

    Right on Jay. I saw that show tonight and it confirmed for me that President Obama has sold us out. It’s a sad day for Gay Americans who supported this president and after the shock wears off we need to regroup and come together as one strong unified voice.
    This betrayal goes way beyond the right to marry, that brief in defense of DOMA was a homophobic attack from this administration and I refuse to dismiss or minimize it.
    If the Democratic party thinks they will be able to count on the gay vote they are sadly mistaken. I’ve been an active democrat my whole life and worked on the Obama campaign but I’m done and will register as an independent ASAP.

  2. Christopher says:

    We were torn? Not me. Never once even THOUGHT about Hillary. And since DOMA and DADT were never my top priorities anyway… I’m still in the Tank as the Right used to say. The Left has a problem and its a problem we’ve had for 40 years, since the Marxist-influenced identity politics shift of the 1960s, we’ve forgotten that broad-based coalitions require some political work. That you can’t expect everyone to agree on strategy all of the time. But you stay together out of a need to move a broader agenda forward. This how Roosevelt built a coalition between northern labor and southern racists. Not an ideal match, but in the LONG run. It got the job done.

    We have a big things to work on this summer for the Left. And I’m sorry National Health Coverage is a million times more important than DADT.

    Social change is coming. Period. Policy change, takes work. And coalitions. And not whining to mommy as soon as you feel you’ve been disrespected.

    • jaysays says:

      You are absolutely right that we can’t all agree on strategy. I’ve been holding on tightly to the belief that this is a strategy, but the arguments used in the brief are unacceptable, strategically or not.

      The enormous controversy caused by “The Dallas Principles” is a great example of our inability to agree on strategy. We’ve been taking a “wait” attitude for too long, and frankly, I just can’t continue to trust this administration without some signs that they mean what they are saying. That’s what this all boils down to, whining or not.

      As to social change v. policy change, seems its the question, “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” (to which I like to say it’s obvious the rooster came first) – there isn’t an answer. Personally, I think there are arguments that policy change ensures social change, but social change is certainly coming faster in many cases and will result in policy change.

  3. Goombah says:

    Christopher I don’t disagree with many of your points but to ignore the language that was used in that brief and dismiss it as whining really diminishes the honest feelings and the respect many of us had for this President. Of course I want him to succeed and I had NO problem waiting for our turn as long as we get there.
    My way of thinking is Silence = ZERO and I have no intention of letting any political party take my concerns for granted.
    What upsets me is how easy it was for him to throw us under the bus when does it stop? We cannot afford to sit quietly and allow gays and our agenda to sit in the back of the bus otherwise we will NEVER get there.

  4. Dee says:

    I truly believe that it is sad but true. He didn’t hold up to his promises, and now he’s only trying to placid the people. Well, I think it is time for the Government to step up on benefits that Disney and others have been doing for years. But, I think Mr. President it’s slow in the arrival, and it’s not what you promised.

    I have friends that have been together for 7, 10, and 12 years. Why aren’t they allowed the same rights as others? It’s BS and I for one believe that they should have the same choices we straights have. It’s BS that they don’t.

    I am sure that Obama’s mixed race background was a difficult thing to deal with, but do I believe he had it any harder than many? No, he came from a middle class family. I don’t think he had it worse than most. Um, have you seen his photos of his youth? This man traveled. I know people that have never left the city they were born in, much less the state. Sorry, I digress. My point is I do not think that he can relate to the issues that are still holding back the GLBT community. Let him step into this Pagan’s shoes for a day, or better yet let him step into the shoes of any of my GLBT friends. He would not hold up.

    Oh, I’m so aggrivated…I can’t get my thoughts or my spelling right tonight.

    This is my rant Jay…Hugs!

    Blessed be

  5. Kyle McNeal says:


    As a recovering victim of Obamamania, I have to say that its hard for me to speak poorly of the man… but I don't think I've ever felt so betrayed by a poitician as when the statement on DOMA was released. He has my vote for next election, and the next 20 if it were possible, but I guarantee you he's not getting another dime out of me until he makes good on his promises to the gay community.

    I'm still hoping he is telling the truth when he says he's getting around to us eventually.

    • jaysays says:

      I find myself going back and forth on this issue – he's a brilliant politician in that regard for sure!!! One moment, I will swear I'm never voting for him, sending money or otherwise acknowledging him – then I'm a little more realistic and think – well, as offensive as the DOJ DOMA Memorandum was, it did no real harm —- thus far. Not like Clinton with DOMA and DADT anyway. I'll likely stumble over that until action is taken to come through with his promises.

      Thanks for stopping in Kyle – I enjoyed your blog very much.

Comments are closed.