LGBT Lessons for Straight People: Be Honest.
Same sex marriage: Are there any original thoughts left on this topic? I can’t believe how many times I have read, and seen refuted, the arguments against same-sex marriage. I still cannot find one that is reasonable. The Iowa Supreme Court could not find one that was reasonable. Neither could the California Supreme Court. The judges were interpreting laws regarding equality. For that, their punishment is to be called activists judges.
I am too tired to go into all the arguments. Everyone has heard them. So I’m going to try this angle. What marriage really is.
Marriage is a legal contract that provides at least 1138 protections under the law. It protects the right to inheritance, sharing property, parental custody, tax deductions, signing legal documents for one another including health care and power of attorney. You are automatically the next of kin. In addition, many employer benefits are extended to spouses.
Let’s get something straight. Gay people are not seeking the right to be married in the eyes of any church or religion. Why? Because getting married in a church doesn’t get you a marriage license. It’s a ceremony, not a legal event. That’s right, you blew $10,000 when all you needed is to shell out the money for the license and have two witnesses. Plus gas money.
Marriage is not about procreation. What law requires that married people procreate? God’s law? That’s not law. That’s religious scripture and has no legal standing in the courts.
Marriage is about two people making a commitment to each other. A commitment so profound, that they are willing to share their financial wealth, protect and care for one another, commit to providing for each other. It’s a big deal and is not to be taken lightly.
Marriage is also about receiving support and blessings from one’s families and friends. This is the social aspect.
Gay people can and do have children. Of course they can procreate. They aren’t born sterile for goodness sake. So what if they use artificial insemination or surrogate mothers? Straight people do too. One thing is certain. When a gay couple has a child, that child is wanted and loved.
We all love and want to be loved. Why on earth would we oppose two people making a serious, monogamous commitment to each other? What is more conservative than wanting to be married and have children? Gay people are not going to stop being gay. Straight people are not going to stop being straight. Gay people are not going to stop falling in love. Neither are straight people. Gay are not going to stop having sex outside of marriage. And believe me, neither are straight people. Gay people are not going to stop being born. In fact, most of them come from straight people. We can’t make who they are and what they feel illegal.
So why do some people oppose same sex marriage? Let’s just say it. They don’t like it. It could be any number of reasons. They are uncomfortable with it. They think about what gay people do in bed and it upsets them, repulses them, seems unnatural to them. They believe stereotypes about gays. They believe lies put out by groups like NARTH, Focus on the Family, Jerry Falwell and Republicans. They don’t know anyone who is gay or if they do, they really have not figured out that that person is human and has the same feelings as everybody else.
So from now on, every time I hear the same tired arguments against same-sex marriage, my response is going to be this.
Just be honest. You don’t like the idea. Admit it. Say it. Own what you really feel instead of hiding behind religious texts or your lack of knowledge about biology. Because that is the real answer. You don’t like it. And that answer is not enough to deny two individuals the right to be married.
I’m here. I’m not queer. Love is love. Get used to it.
geekgirl: Geekgirl (Jude) is a straight woman, a mom and has been married for 32 years to the same wonderful man. She believes in Buddhism and attends the United Church of Christ. She is a molecular biologist, her best friend is a lesbian, and she believes that every human deserves equal rights, respect and a life free from hate, fear and discrimination. The only thing she hates is pickles. Her science blog can be found at LGBT Latest Science.