I ache inside. I ache that I live in a world where people who have never made friends with a gay person, never bonded with one, think they know what is best. The only scientific research they believe in is the research funded by their own biased groups. The Family Institute, who currently wants to make gay sex illegal and punishable offense, wants to cut off funding for HIV, wants to give everyone gay therapy (and let’s not forget that gays molest children and live much shorter lives). All this danger from a supposed 2% of the population. The Family Institute page does a great job of making it look like they do legitimate unbiased science. But they don’t. Their agenda of doing privately supported research in the framework of a “Christian view point” is clearly stated on their website. Talk about an agenda of dehumanizing and criminalizing homosexuality.

It’s a dictatorship, not a democracy.  It’s like a sick game of Jeopardy. Find the data to support your beliefs. That isn’t how science is done. The author, Paul Cameron, laments that the religious right is losing. Yes, Paul, people do have common sense and compassion. It’s just that you don’t. One triumph that they report is that when they interview “former homosexuals” about 2% of them become heterosexuals. Paul, that’s called… experimenting with sex. Or denial. Or sexual fluidity. Seems like a very low cure rate to me. You’d never get that past the FDA as a valid treatment.

This past week my husband and I celebrated our 32nd wedding anniversary. The stars had aligned and two of our closest friends, a lesbian couple, were in town. One of them is also a scientist and she has been a very close friend for over 15 years. We went out to dinner, joined by two other close friends, two gay men. We joked that 32 years of marriage meant 10 years of marital bliss, the going rate being that 1/3 of the time everything is great. The joke went farther, that’s the time when we are all asleep and the best marital bliss comes on a night when you sleep in separate beds just to get some rest. Yea, gay people have the same problems we have. GASP. It’s because they are human.  You want to know what goes on in their bedrooms? Fighting over covers, snoring, tossing and turning over the same stresses that we have.

We choose our friends wisely. It’s really just a coincidence that they are gay. We’ve met gay people that we like but didn’t bond with. We’ve met Republicans we like but disagree with. We have good friends who are atheists and good friends who are good Christians.

We decided to celebrate all of our relationships at our anniversary dinner. In my mind, my friends are married. I felt too awkward, sitting there knowing that my friends are still marginalized by our government, which quite truthfully is simply held hostage by the religious right. If it weren’t for their unity as a voting block, government might get out of people’s lives. You know, that line Republicans always preach. Getting government out of people’s lives. They want small government. Small minded. Small enough to fit under the crack of a closed bedroom door.

I am sick and tired of the fact that my friends still have to be careful about who they come out too, that they have to live in fear that they will be targets of a hate crime, bullying or hidden workplace prejudice. Could you live your life that way? Everyday? My friends are intelligent, normal in EVERY way, highly educated, hard working, gainfully employed, funny, compassionate. They care about the earth, they adopt shelter pets, they are concerned about climate change, the war in Iraq, the poor and the underprivileged. They are loving and kind. They are ethical and wise. They obey the law and are productive citizens. None have cheated on their partners.  They mow the grass and help their neighbors. Their courage, their lack of anger, their deep understanding of life and bigotry amazes me. I should be so smart.

Can YOU change your sexual orientation? Why don’t straight people try to become gay? Gay people are out to recruit you? Really? When did they stop by? Where are the recruiting offices? Is there a sermon every Sunday on Going Gay? Is there a gadget that they sell on QVC? Why hasn’t anyone recruited me in the thirty years that I have known lesbians? Surely not because I’m straight and married. What, I’m not hot enough to be a lesbian? I can’t be trusted with a toaster oven?

I will admit it right here. I have a really big problem with straight people who don’t know anyone gay and are unwilling to move out of their mythical world to meet one. I have a bigger problem with people who are currently using religion and science as weapons to legitimize their own narrow-mindedness, ignorance and bigotry. These people do not have a clue how much they hurt real people. The gay community is angry. They are also hurt inside. To marginalize another human being for doing nothing wrong, for simply how they were born, is dead wrong. Hurtfully wrong. Shamefully wrong.

No one is born a bigot. That is learned. And with the ever increasing insane arguments against gay rights, the increase in hate crimes, LGBT voices will become louder, not more silent. There is a generation coming that not settle for anything less. There are more role models than ever for successful LGBT people in every walk of life. Lawyers, physicians, scientists, computer programmers, marketing people, politicians, clergy, teachers, musicians, actors, entrepreneurs and athletes.

S can stand for Stupid or Shame. Or it can stand for Straight Ally, Support or even Superhero. But it can never stand for Silent. Silent sits down. Silent hides. Silent is surrender.

Ultimately, you cannot stop the truth, you cannot stop people who want human rights, you cannot deny rights to people who are harming no one.  And that includes my friends.

geekgirl: Geekgirl (Jude) is a straight woman, a mom and has been married for 32 years to the same wonderful man. She believes in Buddhism and attends the United Church of Christ. She is a molecular biologist, her best friend is a lesbian, and she believes that every human deserves equal rights, respect and a life free from hate, fear and discrimination. The only thing she hates is pickles.  Check out her LGBT Science blog.

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