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Archive for December, 2010

ATTENTION PERSONS MARRIED UNDER DC LAW – YOUR MARRIAGE MAY BE NULLIFIED!

December 14, 2010 By: jaysays Category: Headline, Thought of the Gay

As you may recall, Mark Reed-Walkup and Dante Walkup were married this past October. Their marriage was officiated via Skype by a person authorized to perform marriages by the District of Columbia, who was physically in DC at the time of the service. Mark and Dante decided to conduct their vows in their home state so that family and friends could be in attendance without the significant costs and problems of flying everyone to DC.

However, after the Skype wedding made headlines DC officials intervened and nullified the wedding on the grounds that Mark and Dante were not in the District at the time the ceremony was performed.

More recently, and in what can only be an effort to prevent future public relations disasters, a DC Clerk’s office posted this sign:

DC Clerk Posting - Marriages must physically be in DC

However, such provision is not presently included in the District of Columbia’s Official Code governing marital relationships (See: Division VII, Title 46, Subtitle I, Ch. 4). Instead, DC has taken upon itself to enforce a provision of law which does not exist. This means, if you or someone you know obtained a marriage license from the District of Columbia, but conducted the ceremony even inches outside the confines of the District’s border (perhaps for a better view of the ocean), your marriage may be nullified, too.

For example, let’s say you’ve lived and worked all your life in DC as has your future spouse. You and your spouse decide to get married, head off to the clerk’s office, get your license, abide by the 3 day waiting period, plan your ceremony, go to Little Falls Park (5.6 miles from the center of DC) and get married. YOU WERE NOT IN D.C.

Or let’s say you take a look at popular wedding places in the D.C. area and choose one of the top ten venues, Brookside Gardens. You are not in D.C., and therefore your marriage is not valid!

DC retroactively nullified the marriage of Mark and Dante due to this “requirement.” How many more marriages will they nullify? Will yours be next?

Stupid Things People Say About Gays: TSA Infultrated by Homosexuals who like to Pat People Down

December 01, 2010 By: jaysays Category: Featured, Stupid Things People Say About Gays

In light of the controversy surrounding the new extensive pat downs and body scanning by TSA, much ado has been made about a traveler’s privacy.  Reports are out that the body scans have resulted in searches because of feminine hygiene products and colostomy bags, but leave it to the right-wing to blame the new policies on the gays.

Eugene Delgaudio, a Loudon County, VA Board of Supervisors representative, recently informed not only the public at large, but also the gay community of a devious plan by the Homosexual Board of Directors (HBD), the group of gays who release the Gay Agenda and originally drafted the Gay Bill of Special Rights, to use the pat downs as a way of getting sexual gratification they otherwise would not be able to achieve:

It’s the federal employee’s version of the Gay Bill of Special Rights… That means the next TSA official that gives you an ‘enhanced pat down’ could be a practicing homosexual secretly getting pleasure from your submission.

As a rule, I no longer participate in the meetings of the HBD.  I stopped attending after getting a stripe taken away for a quip about how I wanted to have sex with George W. Bush.  Without asking for my explanation (which was very reasonable and involved proving his stance on homosexuality was due to his own repressed feelings), I was demoted from Super Flaming Homosexual by the Board to Tired Old Queen.  That said and noting my bitterness toward the HBD, I still don’t buy Mr. Delgaudio’s explanation for the new TSA’s procedures.

In fact, the new procedures are more likely a result of fear-mongering, something that is outside the scope of and has never been a part of the mission or vision of the HBD.  However, it does sound a lot like something Eugene Delgaudio and his fellow self-loathing closet cases might just do in order to have an excuse to have a man feel them up.  Rumors abound that Ted Haggard led the charge for the new procedures.

NOTE: For more of the column, Stupid Things People Say About Gays, click here.