Gay Group Goes Public to Celebrate DADT Repeal – Members Leave in Response

Gay Group Goes Public to Celebrate DADT Repeal – Members Leave in Response

September 20, 2011 Thought of the Gay 2

Gay San Antonio Facebook GroupThe Facebook group titled “Gay San Antonio” will be marking the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell by “coming out” from the “private” setting to the “public” setting on Facebook.  When the Administrators formed the group, they originally set the privacy settings so that, without an invitation, the group postings and its members remained hidden.  The chosen method of celebration seems appropriate and symbolic, but not all members support the change. Several of them announced that once the group goes public, they will be removing themselves from it for fear of retaliation by their family, co-workers and friends.

One of the group members who is leaving stated:

Sorry I can’t be a part of it but being a part of a political organization like this in the public eye will greatly harm my credibility at work. I’d rather be semi-in-the-closet and employed than openly gay and broke.

This is a very real and reasonable fear shared by many. “Coming out” of the closet as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender is far too often a career killer.  It’s no wonder that the repeal of DADT is so bittersweet for me.  I see through the rose-colored, celebratory glasses and look directly at our oppressors and oppressions ruling us with fear.  The reality that our lives are still governed by this fear is a grotesque ode to the heavy toll denying dignity and freedom to a people has on their lives.

So to all members of Gay San Antonio (past, present and future), I offer you this video of Ms. Nina Simone, answering the question, “What’s freedom?”:

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2 Responses

  1. Becki Jayne says:

    Standing up for who you are and coming out enriches a person that money can’t buy. The worth of a person is not predicated on how much money they have or what job they work. It’s sad to see people fall into the trap that money and career are more important than aspiring to be whole. We can live without fear, and yes, sometimes there are consequences perhaps retaliation from people who are fearful. It takes courage to dare to be authentic. And I am grateful for those who have embraced love and wholeness over fear living in the closet. May those who still live in fear be encouraged to let the truth set them free, to propel them to places that affirm their wholeness.


  2. Calvin Smith says:


    I am proud to be a member of Gay in San Antonio. I am even prouder that the group has gone “public”. I came out when I was 15 years old and have no intentions of going back into the closet. I was discouraged when I found out that the group was private after Kevin Abrams added me to it. You have seen my posts in the group. I even asked specifically “Who’s in the closet and who’s out?”. Though the majority of them said they were out 100% there were those few who answered that they were still in the closet, whether it was their family or co-workers or even friends. I can’t imagine living life in the closet. I am proud of who, not what, I am. I take a stand everyday. I feel sorry for those that feel they must stay in the closet for fear of being mistreated. Or may lose their job or friends or even family. I know not everyone is the same and come from different families and values. Just like our Asian friend in the group who explained to me his family’s views on homosexuality. But I want them to know that no matter what, whatever happens, they will always have their GAY family behind them 100%. It is just sad that in 2011 almost 2012 fellow homosexuals are worried about discrimination. I want them to know that I am here and if they ever need anyone to talk to or help to just ask. I have gotten more support from friends than I have family (even though they support me in my decisions. But it goes without saying: They know I am gay but we do not talk about it.) I am glad the group has gone public yet I am sad to see that the members list has already decreased. We all wish that we could live in that Utopian society (and we can) but it is going to be a while before that happens.

    Calvin Smith

    PS: LOVE YAH JAY!!!!!

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