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Thank You For Being A Friend, Ms. B.

April 25, 2009 By: jaysays Category: Commentary, Thought of the Gay

Bea Arthur’s passing shouldn’t come as a surprise.  The brilliant actress and comedienne was 86 years old after all, but her death has rocked me to my core.  Perhaps I’m already sensitive after losing one hero this month already, my dear friend and companion, Crystal Quiroz, or perhaps its because Bea Arthur was more to me than just a star on TV or stage.

I grew up with Bea.  My mother and I spending countless nights watching the Golden Girls.  Even to this day, we catch the re-runs and talk gleefully about the shenanigans of those women.  Each year during cold session when my voice would go an octave lower I’d gleefully proclaim, “I sound like Bea Arthur.”  Truth be told, I sounded more like Harvey Fierstein than Ms. B, but I knew her first and always appreciated the laughs.

For all the late night, munchy-filled occasions when you and your crew of lady friends on television lifted my spirits after a long day, thank you for being a friend, Ms. B.  You will be sorely missed but fondly remembered.

The Origins of Love

April 14, 2009 By: jaysays Category: Commentary, Thought of the Gay

A day at the mall

A day at the mall

When I was 15 years old, I met a girl who changed my life forever.  Her name was Crystal  [center in photo].  I was smitten by her beauty in spite of my homosexuality, and we became “girlfriend” and “boyfriend.”

The romance lasted a week because, as she would put it, “You’re more like a brother to me.”  I put it differently, “I don’t like girls.”

The next 17 years were filled with adventures, including long road trips throughout Texas, Louisiana and New Mexico.  We changed our names on our road trips and became Gustoff and Gaston – explorers and slayers of alligators (usually fried into little bites before we slayed them).  We shared audio books and stories of boys, jacuzzi tubs and shooting stars.  We laughed ourselves into uncontrollable fits and often nearly got our asses whooped by those who didn’t understand us.

One day, while in El Paso, Texas, we were standing in line at the store.  She saw a young man who had dyed his hair black and blonde, semi-skunk like.  She says, very loudly, but not where the young man could hear her, I hate when people dye their hair like that.”

Regrettably, a young woman in line in front of us had even more tragic hair.  The color of orange that does not exist in nature and usually results when someone of Hispanic decent attempts to peroxide themselves.  The woman, with “butt-hole lips” (the term we use for brown lipstick with black eyeliner used as lip liner) turned and says while popping her head, “You talking to me!”

Crystal starts laughing very hard and says, “Oh no, not you, that other guy. I don’t look up!”  This was a true statement.  Most of Cyrstal’s time was spent staring at people’s asses – a result of her wheelchair.  Looking up was something very difficult for her, reserved to the rare occasions of necessity.

At this point, Ms. Ese [Ms. Thang] says, “I started to say, at least say it where I can’t hear you.”

These sorts of adventures were common place with Crystal.  She always spoke what was on her mind and never worried about getting us in arguments with random strangers by accidentally offending someone she wasn’t even talking about.  Our memories are many, our love strong and our hearts forever bound together.

At 11:01 p.m. U.S.A. Central on April 13, 2009 at the age of 33 years old, after the most valiant struggle to survive ever witnessed, Crystal Marie Quiroz, beloved friend, wife, aunt, sister and daughter, left this Earth.  She was surrounded by friends and family until the very end.  She will be missed.

jaysays.com will be sharing stories of Crystal to celebrate her life and love and I encourage those that have known her to share their own stories.

Thank you Lupe for your post: Crystal

A Family of Misfits: From Christophersays.

From Mindlgrrl’s Little Backyard – Too Little Too Late.

From our dearest MJ: She’s Gone.

From Dre-Dre: Crystal