You’d think we’d have learned our lesson by now, but we haven’t. Jude tends to pay attention to the conservative media, then laughingly forward emails to Jay so they can both be shocked at the ridiculousness of the right-wing. In this post, Jude and Jay analyze some of the more outrageous news that deals with the anti-gay establishment – it just keeps getting a little nuttier in the arguments against the queers.
US Nuns Facing Vatican Scrutiny for Kicking the Habit and Gay Love
July 1, 2009
We all know the stereotype of Catholic nuns in a Catholic School with ruler in hand and a menacing frown silhouetted by a black habit, but nuns have also been taking care of the sick and poor for many years. It’s our experience that most nuns are educated, caring and generally, nice women.
Evidently, nuns are too caring and too educated for the extremist Pope and his minions at the Vatican. Now that nuns have stopped wearing habits and gotten minds of their own, they must be stopped!
Cardinal Levada sent a letter to the Leadership Conference saying an investigation was warranted because it appeared that the organization had done little since it was warned eight years ago that it had failed to “promote” the church’s teachings on three issues: the male-only priesthood, homosexuality and the primacy of the Roman Catholic Church as the means to salvation.
Besides these two investigations, another decree that affected some nuns was issued in March by the Committee on Doctrine of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. The bishops said that Catholics should stop practicing Reiki, a healing therapy that is used in some Catholic hospitals and retreat centers, and which was enthusiastically adopted by many nuns. The bishops said Reiki is both unscientific and non-Christian.
“Unscientific.” To reverse the phrase “getting religion” when did the Catholic Church “get scientific?” Hasn’t anyone explained to them that faith means belief in the absence of proof? They are upset that nuns are tolerating homosexuality? Shame, shame. By their standards we should only tolerate pedophiles at Catholic headquarters.
Show your support for a nun today. It sounds like they need it.
Sally Kern Plans to Save the Economy with a New Moral Order
July 1, 2009
It’s not news to anyone reading this blog that Sally Kern went off her rocker this week with her morality proclamation.
This nation has become a world leader in promoting abortion, pornography, same sex marriage, sex trafficking, divorce, illegitimate births, child abuse, and many other forms of debauchery.
Not only has Kern neglected the fact that many countries are way ahead of the U.S. in promoting same-sex marriage, but she’s essentially advised those that want to get rid of a pesky neighbor to beat their children until God forecloses on the neighbor’s house.
A portion of Sally Kern’s draft proclamation reads:
We believe our economic woes are consequences of our greater national moral crisis.
Now we are really getting somewhere. The gays are not spending enough money. Evidently, gays are responsible for the ineptitude of automakers, the unethical behaviors of investment bankers and loan makers, the conflict in Iraq, and least we forget, the flooding of New Orleans (care of Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell). So, how did the gays pull off this economic coup when, as the right wingers often argue, LGBT people are such a small percentage of the population that they don’t deserve equal rights? How then, oh how, are gays capable of destroying every aspect of our society. And, if the gays have that much power over politics and God, why are they still denied civil equality – don’t you think they would have gone after that before a complete economic melt-down of the world?
Looks like Sally Kern needs a history lesson on America’s founding fathers, many of whom did not believe in organized religion, especially Ben Franklin. Sally, check what Ben did in his free time in the Hellfire Club, when he wasn’t womanizing in France. Thomas Jefferson even rewrote the Bible and thankfully got it down to the Cliff Notes version.
If Gay Sex were Socially Acceptable, David Klinghoffer would So have Gay Sex.
June 23, 2009
In the spirit of saving the best for last, someone more crazy than even Sally, the Pope, Maggie Gallagher, James Dobson and Fred Phelps is the winner.
David Klinghoffer, author and essayist with a propensity to believe in the fairy tale (also known as unIntelligent Design), finally explained to us why same sex marriage threatens heterosexual marriage – and the argument is surprisingly secular – although we have to go back to Roman times [B.C.], to find the argument:
The social history behind this piece is clear: once they’ve experienced sex with other men, Catullus tells us, men are unsatisfied with what their new wives provide them. Notice that the poet is unconcerned about the husband’s dallying with other women — it’s the other men around that threaten the marital union.
At the risk of getting too explicit, I leave it the reader’s basic grasp of anatomy to figure out why in ancient Rome a man who found pleasure in a woman, could also find pleasure in a man, while the record shows that a heterosexual woman rarely found sexual satisfaction in the company of another woman.
The losers from all this will be the vast majority of women. With full social sanction given to homoerotic activity, the historical precedent suggests that tomorrow’s women will have a harder time finding and holding on to suitable men. As women will suffer, so will the vitality and stability of the nuclear family.
For those of you that just couldn’t get through that, we happily paraphrase: Once sex between men becomes morally acceptable, straight men everywhere will realize how much better it is to have sex with men than to have sex with women. That’s right ladies, your man is already gay and has just been waiting for it to be socially acceptable. Jude’s husband of 32 years, just like all the other husbands in the world, are going to run out and suddenly start having gay sex leaving you ladies all alone with no way to sexual satisfy yourselves (since it’s rare woman can get any sexual satisfaction from another woman). Seem though that if a guy wants to have sex with a guy, he’s not waiting for it to become socially acceptable – he’s in the airport bathroom tapping his foot at the “straight guy” in the stall next to him.
So David, just how big is your closet? Shall we send your wife a sympathy card? After all, you just told her that you are a homosexual just waiting for gay sex to be de-stigmatized. That’s gotta be pretty hard on her.