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LGBT Lessons for Straight People: I Hate Gays But I’d Die for their Civil Rights.

November 08, 2009 By: geekgirl Category: Featured, LGBT Lessons for Straight People

Gay EducationI like to read comments from readers on news articles. I’ve read so many that it is rare that I find one with a new point. I admit it. The general public is a broken record when it comes to their point of view.

So I was surprised to find this comment. What intrigued me the most is that this person takes complete ownership of his feelings. He doesn’t invoke religion, tradition or biology. He does invoke incorrect psychology, and then he turns 180 in a surprising way.

Let’s walk through this. The comments are just my humble opinions. And yes, I’m truly interested in what this says to you. I have not changed a word.

Posted by vlongwell

November 07, 2009, 11:37AM

Good gravy. I abhor the homo, and lesbian lifestyle. I’m insanely, irrational threatened and intimidated by it. I resent when they join up in their little cliques and, frankly, benefit from this where I don’t. Getting eye-f**cked by some creepy dude just turns my stomach.

But you know what? It couldn’t possibly be any less of my business. I make no distinction between hardcore BDSM nuts, and these nuts. I strongly believe that inter-gender sexuality is destructive on a lot of levels. All of which I’m entitled to believe, as long as it doesn’t negatively impact another person.

I hate gay people.

But you know what, I’d die for any one of them and their basic civil, no human, right to marry whomever the hell they want. Who are any of you to even concern yourself with such an incredibly personal part of everybody’s lives as that of choosing a person to spend the rest of your life with?

Freedom means sacrifice people. I wish I was a better man, and that I did not view it as a sacrifice, but I do what I can. And in this, I say let freedom reign, get your nose out of gay-people’s business, and get back to work.

Sheesh. Always trying to tell me how awesome they are without realizing I don’t care. You got opposable thumbs, and a fore-brain? Then whom you decide to marry, boink, talk to, and hang out with is none of my darn business. And I don’t even feel I have to like it, so there.

You want freedom? Then give it.

[emphasis added]

He starts with how he feels about gays. He calls it a lifestyle. Wrong. Destructive. Wrong. He says he hates gay people. Honest.

Then the astonishing twist. He would die for their rights. He chastises people and tells them to get their nose out of gay rights. His last line could become a poster at a gay rights march.

So what is my take on his opinion? He is able to recognize his emotional reaction and own it. He’s able to separate his emotional reaction from what he knows about civil rights and freedom. I don’t think he really hates gay people. Why would he say in the next sentence that he would die for their rights?

In a way, hasn’t this been part of the argument on the LGBT side? Do you care how other people feel about what you do in the bedroom, or do you care that they respect you and your rights? Does this man need to get to the point of singing in a pride parade as a straight ally? Or is it enough that he believes in full equality and that it isn’t his business, it isn’t harming him.

You may have heard the quote “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” from The Friends of Voltaire, 1906.

Does the same logic apply to equal rights? I disagree with many people on many topics, yet I would never vote to take away their civil rights. That’s what this country is about.

Who knows, perhaps Vlongwell, in his unusual way, reached someone? Let’s hope so.

I’ll take this guy over Maggie Gallagher any day of the week.

jaysays.com contributor geekgirlgeekgirl: Jude is a straight woman, a mom and has been married for 32 years to the same wonderful man. She believes in Buddhism and attends the United Church of Christ. She is a molecular biologist, her best friend is a lesbian, and she believes that every human deserves equal rights, respect and a life free from hate, fear and discrimination. The only thing she hates is pickles. Her science blog can be found at LGBT Latest Science.

Stupid Things People Say About Gays: Gays are the Most Vengeful, Hateful Segment of the Population

September 21, 2009 By: jaysays Category: Featured, Stupid Things People Say About Gays

Stupid Things People Say About GaysCarrie Prejean recently claimed that God chose her to stand up for her Christian values which include reducing human rights to theocratic laws.   But Carrie Prejean, in spite of all the stupid things she’s said about the gays, is not the subject of this Stupid Things People Say About Gays.

Instead, it’s one of her supporters, “ES165,” who wrote this in response to Carrie’s push for theocracy:

She [Carrie Prejean] simply disagrees with one of the most vengeful, hateful segments of our population. This is not her story, it’s about how hypocritical the extreme left and gay population are. Their relentless attacks are totally despicable.

I’ll be the first to admit that many people have said some very negative things about Carrie.  We’ve attacked her breast implants, her child pornography years and her bleach blond hair.  We’ve attacked her view point and discussed her arguments against gays (many of which were feed to her by Maggie Gallagher and friends).

But there’s something that we haven’t done to Carrie, we haven’t called on voters to make her illegal.  That is what Carrie’s message is about, it’s about legislating a group of people that don’t share the same beliefs she shares.

So, although we condemn the message Carrie spreads, remember this ES165: its the liberals who would protest along side her if her message were made illegal; it’s the gays who will best understand should voters/legislators decide that people with breast implants can no longer marry; it’s the vengeful, hateful segments of the population that would fight tooth and nail to prevent laws against Carrie’s pursuit of happiness.

After all, if you won’t fight for all human rights, you don’t deserve any.

NOTE: For more of the column, Stupid Things People Say About Gays, click here.

Ohio Straight Bar Gives Gay a Bloody Welcome

May 31, 2009 By: jaysays Category: Hate Crimes, LGBT News

Hate CrimeA group of gay and straight people headed out for a night of fun at a Mainville, Ohio bar called Tabby’s.  Patrons of the bar continued harassing the group asking which of them is straight and which of them is gay.  Finally, one of the men in the group, 31 year-old, Ronnie Robertson, spoke up and admitted to being a homosexual.  He was then attacked and received a broken nose and multiple lacerations to his face.

Two women have been arrested and police are still looking for two men believed to be involved.  Ohio does not have hate crimes legislation protecting people based upon sexual orientation; however, Ohio’s hate crime legislation does protect other minority groups.

LGBT Lessons for Straight People: Words of Hate on Prop 8.

May 25, 2009 By: geekgirl Category: LGBT Lessons for Straight People

Gay EducationTuesday, June First, the California Supreme Court will announce it’s decision at 10 a.m. Pacific Time. Today I looked at two websites. The LA Times and the Independent Mind. As usual, reader comments are all over the board. I’ve selected some of the negative comments and I have highlighted, in red, the words that reveal the hatred, bigotry, lies and ignorance of the people making these posts.  I have copied these comments exactly and I have not corrected any spelling or grammatical errors. I welcome every reader to link to this blog, copy the words to your own blog and share this blog with your friends.

I can’t help but ask myself. If these individuals were face to face with a gay person, would they say these words? The Internet provides anonymity. That has its positives – because all of us want to stay safe. It also has its negatives. We say things we would probably never say directly to a person. If you can’t say it to someone’s face, maybe you shouldn’t say it? For those of you that share the feelings that you are about to read, I challenge you to take the time to read some facts.  I challenge you to open your heart and think what if you were in the shoes of a gay person. Don’t judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes. If your positions are correct, it shouldn’t hurt you to listen to the other side.

I’m not gay. I have many gay friends and they are are good people. Do you know someone who is gay? If not, I challenge you to purposely meet someone. For those of you that are unable to listen to why gay people deserve the same rights as straight people, hear this. Gay people are not going to shut up. They are being denied rights. You want to stop hearing about it? Give everyone equal rights and let everyone get on with their lives.

And now, on to the comments.

It’s not about giving or denying gay rights… but about demoralizing what a healthy, house & family is all about. Most of people endorsing gay marriages, don’t want their children to be educated in a gay home. This is hypocrisy! Church Ministers will be forced by law to celebrate gay marriage. Is this fair?

Posted by: Marcel | May 24, 2009 at 02:47 PM

No minister will be forced to celebrate gay marriage. Today, a minister can deny performing a wedding service to anyone. Besides, a church wedding isn’t needed to make marriage legal. It has nothing to do with civil marriage. Don’t believe me? Ask your clergyman. Or the county courthouse.

Facism is Facism. The “No on Prop 8” supporters have embraced FACISM! Their Mantra is “GAY FACISM UEBER ALLES!”

Posted by: Steve | May 24, 2009 at 07:38 AM

I have no clue what this means. But I think it’s from someone who is crazy.

You know what? I think that everyone who is unhappy with the outcome of Prop 8 should leave California immediately. Obviously you are very unhappy and you should live elsewhere that will accommodate any perversion you want. Frankly, I’m looking forward to the Supreme Court upholding the will of the people to determine what their society will look like. This isn’t a race thing so don’t give me that. This is a sexual perversion thing and I’m glad the people of California had the guts to say NO MORE! Others States who are having this issue crammed down their throats will rise up and follow suit. You watch! It will happen

Posted by: CAPearl | May 22, 2009 at 05:14 PM

I always love this solution. Don’t like how I think? Move. That’s intelligent. Crammed down their throats? I have lost count of the number of times that a religious person has knocked on my door, wanting to come in and preach to me. Never, not once, has a gay person, anywhere, tried to invade my home or what I think. Why? First, they are only interested in living their own lives. Second, someone like you might answer the door and kill them.

Gays have their Civil unions and domestic partnerships. This minority of deviants should never have the authority or power to redefine marriage or our society based on their perversions. We chose to honor male and females in marriage. We said it twice to the gays in elections. What part of “No” and “Get lost” do you not understand? Leave marriage alone. You don’t need our tradition. Make your own. And don’t beg us for validation.

Posted by: jeffrey hepler | May 22, 2009 at 04:47 PM

For the ten billionth time, this isn’t about tradition, it’s about legal rights. Civil unions and domestic partnerships cover a small fraction of the legal benefits of marriage. There are 1138 rights given to married people scattered throughout Federal Law. Look it up. And what part of equal rights and Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You don’t you understand?

Gays and Lesbians will have no choice but to abide by the law whether they like it or not. Gays and Lesbians Do Not have the right to disturb the peace or to threaten anyone who disagrees with no on Prop. 8 or their sexual orientation.

Asking for rights is disturbing the peace? It might be disturbing your narrow view of the world. Go in the closet if it bothers you. See what that is like.

Marriage is not a right to anyone, and Gays and Lesbians need to get it through their heads. If Gays and Lesbians continue to persist, they will bring on the hate and suffer the consequences of those who will not tolerate their behavior.

Marriage is a right for heterosexuals but not for gays and lesbians ,and heterosexuals need to get that through their heads. Thanks for the warning about the hate but it’s already here. Your side has not been shy about holding back. But I do thank you for having the courage to put your hatred and threats in writing. Are you willing to say these things publicly to a gay person to their face?

From Independent Minds


copycat7 wrote:



You’re kind of late copycat.  The American Psychology Association removed homosexuality as a mental illness thirty years ago. They disgust you? Just curious. Do you KNOW a gay person? Just one? I challenge you to open your mind long enough to attempt to get to know someone who is gay. Actually, you probably do know someone who is gay. They are just smart enough to know that coming out to you would be dangerous.

Re: Copycatis hate crime

zahradelaplata wrote:

Monday, 25 May 2009 at 12:34 pm (UTC)what marginality? The only marginal ones are gays. They are nothing but 3% of world population, and they try to force the rest of us, the real normal people, to accept’them as normal ones. They are not. Never will be. 97% is straight, that shows that the mere 3% is the exception to the rule, and definitely not the norm, hence, nothing normal or any need to accept their agenda. It’s unbelievable how some minuscule groups force the majority, and brainwash society, just because they have the media and enough money to push these issues. You want to live your life? OK, do so between the walls of your bedroom, and leave the rest of us alone. Don’t expect the majorities (like the one in California), accept or bend to your whims. See what you gays are trying to do in California. YOU LOST a democratic vote. DEAL WITH IT. But nooo, you just can’t, right? You have to terrorize normals, use your economic muscle, your media capacity to force the majority to change what they decided in a ballot. That shows you what is the real frame of mind of gays. They don’t just want their so called rights, they have to stomp over the opinions of others, and force them to their whims. What’s next? Promoting homosexuality in schools, so you can harvest new kids for your zoo sooner? And we’ll have to accept it, right? Riiiight.

Mormons are 1.7% of the population. In fact, most of us are in a minority for something. What  does a percent have to do with anything? What percent would it take to convince you they are normal? Terrorize? Gay people want the same rights as the rest of us. I have an idea. Keep your hatred and bigotry inside your house and leave the rest of us alone. Harvesting kids? People are born gay. Or did you go through some agonizing process of deciding to be straight?

it’s wrong wrong wrong

joshuacohen2003 wrote:

Monday, 25 May 2009 at 02:02 pm (UTC)Gays are just wrong in every sense of normal rational behaviour.
forget the religious aspect because that’s plain and simple and clearly obvious. No religion on earth condones homosexuality.

However lets look at it from an atheistic, scientific, logical, rational point of view. It’s still glarignly obvious to anyone with a few brain cells that being homosexual is just idiotic nonsense. nature created males and females.

end of argument.

Dear Joshua Cohen. Your lack of scientific education and knowledge of religious texts is stunning.  There is a growing body of evidence that sexual orientation has biological origins. Go to Entrez Pubmed and search the REAL scientific literature. Religion? There are groups in every faith that welcome LGBT members. Jews, Christians, Catholics, Buddhists, even Muslim. The religious aspect is anything but obvious. People wrote ancient scriptures 2000 plus years ago. The words have been misinterpreted and the cultural context lost. Why do these words hold more convincing power than modern day science? I’m sorry, that makes no sense to me.

These comments are not only factually wrong, they hurt real people. People who are daughters, sons, brothers and sisters. Real humans who are the same as me and you. I find these comments so unethical, so filled with unfounded prejudice, so unAmerican that I am ashamed. Dehumanizing others so that we don’t have to face our biases, so we don’t have to feel that they are as human as we are,  is a slippery slope, the same slope that led to slavery and the Holocaust. Haven’t we learned anything from our own history? Our world history? We look back now and are ashamed of the discrimination in our nation’s past. The next generation will look back on the fight for gay rights the same way. It is already happening. In the end, hate always loses.

Kansas City Men’s Chorus Denied Honorific because it Mentions Gay

March 27, 2009 By: jaysays Category: Discrimination, LGBT News

As the Kansas City-based Heartland Men’s Chorus prepares for their Saturday performance of “And Justice For All” to honor the fight and fighters for civil equality (i.e. women’s suffrage, the stonewall riots and Martin Luther King, Jr.), the “top leaders” of the state’s senate denies a resolution honoring the group.

Sen. Jolie Justus, District 10 MO, introduced the resolution as part of the hundreds of courtesy resolutions passed each year.  Such resolutions are designed to honor milestones such as 50th wedding anniversaries and “Eagle Scout” achievements; however, the Kansas senate has sent a clear message, “No gays.”

The uproar isn’t about honoring the group, but because of the language of the resolution indicating they are fighting homophobia and makes mention of “gay” men.  Senate republican (of course), Shields has stated he feels the language is too controversial indicating it would:

probably not meet the standards of all the senators.

He has asked the resolution remove references to homophobia, gay and LGBT, the very thing that has brought the group forward as a potential recipient of the resolution.

Sen. Justus stated, rather than “de-gay” the resolution, she will present a certificate to the Heartland Men’s Chorus from her own office rather than from the full Senate and let them know:

Your state capitol finds you to be offensive just because you’re gay.

To that, jay says: “I find your state capitol offensive because they are homophobic bigots who have mistaken a moral delusion for morality.”

Stupid Things People Say About Gays: Gay Behavior is Abnormal

March 23, 2009 By: jaysays Category: Stupid Things People Say About Gays

It isn’t hard to find stupid comments people make and relate to gay people.  In this comment, “SwingLeft,” aka Norton (43 years old),  attempts to explain why homosexuality is unnatural when faced with the argument that it can be found throughout the animal kingdom:

Get your dick out of that ass long enough to consider this… Abnomal [sic] behavior occurs in all species. When a dog humps my legs, it doesn’t make it right.

First, it’s obvious that Norton immediately associates gay relationships with anal sex, something that most homophobic people do.  Many homosexuals do not engage in anal sex at all and many heterosexual couples admit to engaging in anal sex, thus his argument fails before it is fully laid out.

Norton goes on to compare consensual same-species relationships with a dog humping a leg.  Perhaps Norton thinks that the act of a dog humping a human leg is just “sexual” for the dog.  Actually, when a dog humps your leg, it is the dog’s way of establishing dominance or authority over you as well.  In fact, female dogs will sometimes hump a leg too. The behavior is very common.

Further, abnormal by definition is: ” not normal, average, typical, or usual; deviating from a standard.”  Because the behavior is normal, average, typical and does not deviate from a standard (as most male dogs that are not neutered participate in the practice), the behavior in dogs cannot be defined as “abnormal.”  It can even be argued that such behavior would be considered very normal in dogs.  Abnormal would be if something of another species, such as a human, were to start humping your leg as it is not average, typical or usual.

Thus, the argument further fails.

abnormal. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Retrieved March 23, 2009, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/abnormal

Increase in Crimes Against Gays since Passage of Prop 8

March 16, 2009 By: jaysays Category: Hate Crimes, LGBT News

I previously speculated in a post (based on rough math) that after the passage of Proposition 8, a substantially higher number of hate crimes against LGBT people began to occur.  I discussed that, in large part, the theory was based upon the fact that more LGBT activists were taking to the streets and making our community more visible to the violent majority.  As if to confirm my speculation, the San Jose Mercury news is now reporting that 56% (14 out of 25 ) of all hate crimes reported in Santa Clara County California were based upon sexual orientation.  This is a significant jump from 2007 with only three of the twenty reported hate crimes being “gay” related.

From the article:

Hate crime cases involving anti-gay sentiment shot up in Santa Clara County last year, a striking increase that a leading prosecutor attributes to controversy over Proposition 8, the voter-approved ban on gay marriage.  Surge in anti-gay hate crime cases – San Jose Mercury News.

Supporter of Proposition 8, Frank Shubert of the poorly named Protect Marriage, had this ridiculous statement:

I certainly hope Proposition 8 did not result in more crime, but if it did, it did so on both sides.

So it seems the Religious Reich is claiming that the gays are beating people up again, even though there have only been two confirmed reports of gays “attacking” Proposition 8 supporters in California.  Both of these claims were videotaped, involved only yelling and neither case resulted in physical bodily injury to the Proposition 8 supporters.

Regardless of whether the Court rules in favor of or against the validity of Proposition 8, the moment will be part of the long history of religion being used to abuse a minority class.

The Trouble with Jerry Lewis and the MDA

March 09, 2009 By: jaysays Category: Commentary, Thought of the Gay

Many will remember Jerry Lewis’ comment on his telethon raising funds for the Muscular Dystrophy Association in 2007.  But in case you don’t, here are his words:

Oh, your family has come to see you.  You remember Bart, your older son. Jesse, the illiterate faggot.

He then abruptly stopped himself and said, “No.”  Obviously, Gay and Lesbians Against Defamation made a fuss, and rightfully so I think, about Mr. Lewis’ use of the word “faggot.”  He then apologized by saying:

I apologize to anyone who was offended.  Everyone who knows me understands that I hold no prejudices in this regard. In the family atmosphere of the telethon, I forget that not everyone knows me that well.  That something like this would distract from the true purpose of the telethon pains me deeply. … I accept responsibility for what I said. There are no excuses.

I gratefully accepted Mr. Lewis’ apology and was profoundly glad to hear it, particularly because my very dear friend is a beneficiary of assistance by way of the Muscular Dystrophy Association for which Mr. Lewis was raising funds.  Because of the much needed help she received from the organization I have continually been a contributor to the organization and a vocal supporter of their work.  I could continue honoring this important organization for the good it was doing.

But then, Jerry Lewis again used the word “fag” during the telethon – only one year later, and thus my trouble with Jerry Lewis and the MDA begun.

Upon months of consideration, I finally sent a text message to my friend who has benefited from the work of the MDA which said, “Would you hate me if I boycotted the MDA because of Jerry Lewis’ homophobic comments?”  Her response was simple and to the point, unlike the debate that has been swirling in my head for so long, “No.”

It is that time of year when shamrocks are being sold throughout the country to raise funds and awareness regarding Muscular Dystrophy.  I am still debating two possible courses of action: (1) Refuse to donate my money to the MDA; or (2) Donate, but on each shamrock I purchase write, “From, Jerry’s Fags.”

Thus far, I have chosen not to donate to the MDA at all and instead donate my money to other charitable organizations who support LGBT rights.  I encourage other supporters of LGBT rights to do the same.

Galveston Texas Gay Bar Attacked by Anti-Gay Stone Throwers

March 04, 2009 By: jaysays Category: Hate Crimes, LGBT News

Just south east of Houston, TX sits the island city of Galveston, or whats left of it after Hurricane Ike.  Galveston is most famous as the home of legendary rocker, Janis Joplin.  But morbid news is abound.

Three men, two brothers and a cousin, shouted anti-gay slurs at patrons of Robert’s Lafitte and stoned them due to their sexual orientation.  One man, Marc Bosaw, required 12 staples to close the wounds.  Another man was hit in the jaw by a rock.  Thankfully, the attack did not result in any persons death.

Patrons chased the gay bashers and were able to obtain a description which led to their arrest.  Bosaw stated:

I thought with all the things going on, especially politically, that we would be more accepted and not just randomly attacked.  I don’t see any room for hate right now.

Regrettably, this attitude of gays being more accepted continues to permeate the LGBT community as I discussed more in a prior post.  It is because of these attacks that we must remain a united front and continue to combat this hatred.  It is time to stand against this violence.  “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”

via Galveston gay bar attack draws rare use of law w/ video | Front page | Chron.com – Houston Chronicle.

Police Questioning Suspect in Murder of Straight Man for Being “Gay”

February 27, 2009 By: jaysays Category: Hate Crimes, LGBT News

Police have found and are questioning the second suspect in the crime committed against José O. Sucuzhañay on December 7, 2008 in Brooklyn.  Mr. José Sucuzhañay and his brother were walking arm and arm when Keith Phoenix and Hakim Scott [allegedly] attacked the two men while shouting antigay and anti-Hispanic slurs.

The minority against minority attack drew much attention, including one of my previous posts, as both Mr. José Sucuzhañay and his brother were heterosexual men.  The attack was based on the perception of their homosexuality, as two brothers showed affection to one another in public and was also apparently associated with their Hispanic roots.

Police had previously shown a video wherein Mr. Phoenix was paying a toll and smiling only 19 minutes after the attack which resulted in José Sucuzhañay death.

Police Find Second Suspect in Hate Crime Killing – City Room Blog – NYTimes.com.