Bill Barr, former libertarian party presidential hopeful and author of the Defense of Marriage Act, published an opinion in the Las Angeles times declaring that President-Elect Barack Obama is right, DOMA has to go.  In his story, Barr goes on to explain that DOMA violates the principles of federalism and its impact is not limited to Federal law as intended.  Barr then states:

So the first part of DOMA was crafted to prevent the U.S. Constitution’s ‘full faith and credit’ clause.

As one of the people responsible for writing DOMA, I find this statement remarkably telling as it clearly indicates that the purpose of the Defense of Marriage Act was to void a section of the U.S. Constitution [Article IV, Section 1], which decrees that independent states within the Union must respect the “public acts, records, and judicial rulings” of other states.  Ordinarily, acts of Constitutional “adjustment” are done by Amendments, which are much more difficult to obtain than legislative acts.

Mr. Barr’s commentary comes just in time for the January 10, 2009 National DOMA Protest.

To read Mr. Barr’s full opinion piece, click here.

2009 is an election year in New Jersey.  A fact that hasn’t gone unnoticed by the voters and the legislatures as more and more anti-marriage folks line up proclaiming that if New Jersey recognizes same-gender marriage, they will make it an issue during the election.

Of course, voters should raise their voices anytime the legislature goes toward a policy they are against, but  advocates of the policy should sing out as well.  New Jersey folks should pick up their pen (or keyboard) and send a message to your state legislatures now stating that you stand with the governor in support of marriage equality and demand that your elected officials represent your best interests and honor your freedoms of life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness and YOUR freedom of religion as required by the United States Constitution.

You can find out who your legislators are here.

For more information, you are encouraged to read JoeMyGod’s blog regarding New Jersey’s great possibility.

Staying motivated is often the most difficult thing when it comes to LGBT activism and human rights generally.  The odds are against us, yet we cannot lose.  Losing is not an option in this battle because every time those that propagate hatred against us are victorious, they gain power.  We may loss battles, but we cannot lose the war.  Why?  Our lives are at stake.  This is not an issue of marriage, it is not an issue of Due Process or Seperate But Equal clauses.  We have our lives to lose and I believe that my life, and the life of those around me, is worth fighting for.

Yesterday, my hope and motivation faltered.  Sometimes, even I lose focus and wander into the land of despair.  I start to have terrible thoughts like “we’re going to lose” or “where is everyone else.”  I start to feel alone, tired and scared.  Especially when the very leadership I call upon doesn’t respond.

Yesterday, you likely heard a loud thud noise.  My hopes and dreams of equality slammed to the ground while I browsed local HRC websites in South Texas looking for information on the National DOMA protest for January 10th. I checked every local LGBT organization I could think of - all of their websites - NOTHING.  I emailed San Antonio’s HRC over two weeks ago.  No response.  I contacted the “organizer” in one city (two weeks ago) offering to volunteer - no response.  I contacted her again thinking she’s likely busy and missed the email, no response.  I also checked Austin’s Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce website which has a calendar of LGBT events - January 10th, nothing listed.  I checked San Antonio’s Gay and Lesbian Community Center’s website - not listed.  I emailed San Antonio’s Gay and Lesbian Community Center, the email was returned undeliverable.  We are relying on these local organizations to lead us - but perhaps it is time that we learn to lead ourselves and to play by our rules.

I was devastated.  I looked inward for the answers to the questions that are already starting to roll out into the blogospheres “when, where, how is the DOMA Protest going to work when there is so little information available?”  Today, I spoke with a dear friend who I haven’t spoken with in a couple of weeks and she reminded me of the importance of human rights and human dignity.  She reminded me that being tired or frustrated is fine, but that if I give up, I lose.

So, as we ring in the new year, I challenge each of my readers to download the letter to Obama and the signature pages [link].  Start obtaining signatures today!  Don’t wait for January 10th. Send it to your friends, your neighbors, your family and have them sign it and start getting signatures as well.  Have them send it on to their family, friends and neighbors.  It is time we each step forward individually and swallow our fear and make a difference. It is time for us to stop waiting for someone to speak out for us and start speaking out for ourselves.

Stand up my LGBT brothers and sisters.  Stand up and be counted.  Run with me toward victory because victory is our only option.

Instructions for the letter to Obama:

1) Download the letter;
2) Sign the letter;
3) Get others to sign the letter;
4) Scan it and submit it to the upload page (to be provided by JTI circa January 10)

If you are a blogger, post this information to your blog.  If you have a website, a gay friendly business - anywhere on the web… circulate the information via link or write your own.  If you use Digg or Reddit - put this information there.  Print multiple copies and take them to your friends.  We don’t have to wait until January 10th to gather signatures or sign the letter or to have others sign the letter.  We can do this, we can win, we must be victorious!

Remember, a full address is not needed but a zip code is required.

The Arizona Bar Association proposed changing the lawyers creed [pledge] to include sexual orientation and to read as follows:

I will not permit considerations of gender, race, religion, age, nationality, sexual orientation, disability, or social standing to influence my duty of care.

As if echoing the recently signed “Right of Conscious” Legislation allowing doctors to deny patients care due to moral reservations, a group of 30 lawyers from the Alliance Defense Fund (”ADF”) make claims that the proposal is “unconstitutional” and would require them to represent clients they find immoral. [On a personal note, does anyone else find it ironic that lawyers are concerned with morality?]

There are numerous potential problems with this sort of bigotry, including defendants’ rights to a speedy trial.  Assume for a moment that a person is arrested on charges (be they valid or not) and after weeks or months (or justice forbidding longer) the person is finally prepared, with their Court Appointed lawyer, to go to trial.  On a pretrial interview, the Court Appointed lawyer finds out that the defendant is a homosexual and decides he/she can no longer represent this person.  Trial is now delayed and additional time is spent in prison.  Or worse, trial resumes with a new Court Appointed lawyer who has not been able to properly prepare to represent the defendant.  Is this not also unconstitutional?

Oddly enough, the lawyers’ pledge already includes religion, which means a Christian attorney cannot deny an Atheist person proper legal representation solely based upon the religion of that person.  Would this not also be a valid, moral argument and thus unconstitutional?  Yet the ADF has taken no moral stance on this issue.

I have contacted the ADF and will be providing a follow-up report based upon their response.

Read more at 365gay.

Unfriendly, anti-gay, heterosexuals have attacked the marriage issue and the LGBT community has stood its grounprad, highlighting historical evidence, state law, U.S. law and regulations.  The community has even had to defend itself against the Bible, just like many other minorities over the years including African Americans and Jewish people.  But what is this talk of civil marriage equality really about?  Surprisingly, it’s not about marriage at all, it’s about freeing a people from the fetters of bigots, extremists and homophobic people in society.  It’s about no longer being afraid and about being allowed to live and pursue the American dreams of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Although not providing civil marriage equality to same-gender couples is unconstitutional, an argument which should be strong enough standing on its own, the issue is much more personal for LGBT people.  We have watched as our friends and family have been brutally and unforgivingly beaten, raped, attacked and/or murdered by the homophobic right wing; such attacks often being declared to be because of “God”.  It is an underlying issue for LGBT people, to believe that governmental equality under the law may help to end the social injustices we are faced with every day.

So that we may never forget what it is we have lived through and what it is we are fighting against, let’s take a walk down memory lane:

• Nazi Germany:  The “fathers” of the pink trianlge ,placed this badge upon homosexuals in concentration camps in order to identify them as such.  Homosexuals, like other groups of persons, were murdered under the Nazi reign.
• Giovanni di Giovanni, a Florentine boy, was castrated and burned on his anus with a red-hot iron by court order for homosexuality.
• Knight von Hohenberg and his lover in 1482 were burned at the stake for being homosexuals.
• Jacques Chausson (1661) was burned alive for allegedly attempting to seduce the son of a nobleman.
• The Shia death squads in present day Iraq have increased their extrajudical killings of LGBT people.  “In 2005, the Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani issued a fatwa on his website calling for the execution of gays in the ‘worst, most severe way’.”
• Robert Hillsborough in 1977 - murdered by a man shouting “faggot.”
• Harvey Milk - assassinated by Dan White in 1978.
• Tennessee Williams - assaulted by five teenage boys who were inspired by an anti-gay ad ran by a Baptist minister.
• Terry Knudsen, murdered in 1979 in Minnesota.
• Rick Hunter and John Hanson who were beaten in 1982 by police calling them queers and sissies.
• Declan Flynn murdered in Fairview Park, Dublin in 1983 - his attackers received a suspended sentence.
• Charlie Howard, murdered 1984.
• Rebecca Wight - murdered by Stephen Roy Carr who claimed he was enraged by her lesbianism.
• James Zappalorit (1990) - stabbed to death.
• Julio Rivera (1990) - beaten with a hammer and stabbed to death with a knife.
• Paul Broussard (1991), murdered.
• Brandon Teena - raped and murdered in 1993.
• Scott Amedure (1995) - murdered after revealing his homosexuality on a Jenny Jones’ show.
• Roxanne Ellis and Micelle Abdill in 1995 by a man who stated he thought their lifestyle was “sick”.
• Eric Robert Rudolph bombed the lesbian nightclub, Otherside Lounge, injuring five patrons in 1997.
• Matthew Shepards beating and death from exposure after being left tied to a fence in 1998.
• The bombing of the Admiral Duncan pub which wounded 723 and killed at least 2 people.
• The murder of Pfc Barry Winchell due to his relationship with Calpernia Addams, a transgendered woman in 1999.
• The 1999 murders of Gary Matson and Winfield Mowder by Matthew and Tyler Williams, White Supremists who claimed they were “obeying the law of God.”
• The murder of Steen Fenrich by his stepfather in 2001 - his skull had “gay nigger number one” scrawled into it along with his social security number.
• Arther “J.R.” Warren in 2000 by a group of teenagers who believed that Warren was spreading rumors about his sexual relations with one of the boys.
• The shooting of 7 people in Roanoke, Virginia in 2000 (killing one) because a Ronald Gay was upset over what his surname “meant” and was told by God to find and kill lesbians and gay men.  He described himself as a “Christian Soldier” working for his Lord.
• Aaron Webster was beaten to death in 2001 in Vancouver, British Columbia.
• Fred Martinez, a transgendered student was attacked and beaten to death in 2001.
• Hundreds of soccer fans attacked participants of a Pride Parade in Belgrade in 2001.
• In 2002, Nizah Morris was murdered in Philidelphia, the case was dreadfully mishandled.
• Bartrand Delanoe, Mayor of Paris France, was non-fatally stabbed in 2002.
• Gwen Araujo (17 years old) was murdered in 2002.
• Sakia Gunn was a 15 year old African American lesbian who was murdered in New Jersey.
• Richie Phillips was lured to his death because he was gay in 2003.
• Nireah Johnson and Brandie Coleman were murdered in 2003 because Johnson was transgendered.
• Glenn Kopitske was killed after a homosexual encounter with Gary Hirte in 2003.  Hirte believed that the homosexual act was “worse than murder.”
• Brian Williamson, a Jamaican Gay rights activist was murdered with a machete in 2004.
• FannyAnn Eddy, a gay and lesbian activist was murdered in 2004.
• Daniel Fetty was murdered in 2004 by two men in Waverly, Ohio who beat him to death with bricks and boards.
• Ronnie Paris, a THREE YEAR OLD boy, was murdered by his father because his father was concerned that Ronnie was gay and would grow up to be a sissy.
• Jason Gage was bludgeoned to death with a bottle and stabbed in the neck with a shard of glass.
• In 2005, Yishai Shlisel stabbed three marchers in a gay pride parade in Israel claiming he acted on behalf of God.
• Jody Dobrowski was murdered in London in 2005.
• In 2005, Lauren Harries, her father and brother were attacked in their home because Lauren was transgendered.
• In 2005, a Jamaican mob chased a man they believed to be gay.  The man jumped into the water to escape the mob and drowned.
• Gisberta Salce Jumior, was tortured and anally raped with sticks over a period of three days, then thrown into a pit and left to die by a group of 12-14 boys aging between 12 and 16.
• In 2006, Jacob D. Robida entered a bar, and upon confirming it was a gay bar attacked the patrons with a hatchet and gun, wounding three.
• Students in Jamaica rioted in 2006 and attacked an “allegedly” gay student.
• Richard Jefferson and Ryan Smith, CBS Evening News producer and researcher were beaten by a group of four men and two women with tire irons in 2006.
• Kevin Aviance was robbed and beaten by a group of men yelling anti-gay slurs at him.
• Six men were brutally beaten by a group of other men (one of which was a 15 year old boy) after leaving a San Diego Pride event in 2006.
• Michael Sandy was attacked and while trying to escape, was hit by a car in 2006 by a group of youths who were luring gay men via the internet.
• Gareth Williams, a gay rights activist and three gay men were stoned in Kingston, Jamaica in 2007.
• In 2007, 100 men gathered outside of a funeral in Jamaica and proclaimed “We want no battyman [gay] funeral here. Leave or else we’re going to kill you. We don’t want no battyman buried here in Mandeville.”
• Roberto Duncanson was murdered in New York by a man claiming that it was because Duncanson had flirted with him.
• Sean Wiliam Kennedy, age 20, was murdered in 2007 by Andre Moller (18) because Moller didn’t like his “sexual preference”.
• Micahel Marcil was attacked and beaten by Andrew Lefebcre and Sheri-Lee Rand in Ontario in 2007.
• Also in 2007, 30 participants at a gay pride event were attacked by multiple assailants.  They were stopped by the police before they had the opportunity to use the Molotov cocktails they had prepared for the occassion.
• In September of 2007, Osvan Inacio dos Santos, age 19, was attacked and murdered.
• Craig Gee was attacked in 2007.  His skull was reduced to powderand his leg was broken during the attack.
• In 2008, three gay men were attacked in their dwelling by an angry mob who had been threatening them to leave the community.  One of the three is still missing and feared dead while the other two survivied after hospitalization.
• In 2008, Alexandre Peixe dos Santos was attacked and beaten in Sao Paulo, Brazil.  (Approximately 2,680 gay people were murered betwen 1980 and 2006 in Brazil just for being gay).
• Duanna Johnson was beaten by a police officer in Memphis, TN.  The police were reportedly calling Duanna (a transgendered woman) a “faggot” and “he-she”.  Shortly after threatening a lawsuit against the police department, Duanna was shot by three “unknown assailants”.
• 2008, Lawrence “Larry” King, a 15 year old junior was shot by a classmate and ultimately died from the wounds.
• Lance Neve was beaten unconscious becase he was “gay”.  His skull was fractured and the attack also left him with a broken nose. (Rochester, New York, 2008.
• Steven Parris was murdered by Steven Hollis and Juan L. Flythe after they found “gay messages” on Parish’s cell phone.
• September 2008, Tony Randolph Hunter and his partner were attacked near Washington, DC.  Hunter later died from his injuruies.
• In November, 2008, arsonists burned the home of openly gay Melvin Whistlehunt.  Investigators found anti-gay messages spray painted on the back of the house.
• Lateisha Green (”Teish” Cannon) was murdered in November 2008 for being a transgendered person.

The above list is not definative (or all inclusive) of crimes against homosexuals.  It was taken in large part from information available from wikipedia.org.  Every time someone is beaten or murdered for their sexual orientation/identity, part of our humanity dies.  To our heterosexual friends who remain indifferent to our plight, I call out to you and ask that you stand up and be counted as our friends, neighbors and fellow country men.  We must stop this injustice.  We all have the right to feel safe.

I regret that due to a very important prior engagement I will be unable to attend the light up the night event; however, I am still lighting my candle and hope that some day, we will find peace and goodwill toward ALL people.

My Candle for Light Up the Night

This episode is dedicated to conservative hate monger Paul Weyrich, President and CEO of “Free Congress Foundation”, who died this morning at age 66.  Mr. Weyrich was held by some as a “patriot” and “conservative institution.”  However, those that were the target of his hate will forever remember him as a bigot and hate monger.  His death will hopefully be the beginning of the end of an era of hate, misinformation and inhumanity against homosexuals.  One of the many stupid things Mr. Weyrich said about gays was:

Homosexuals tend to be preoccupied with sex.

Mr. Weyrich could not have been more off the mark.  I am of the opinion that Mr. Weyrich was obviously more preoccupied with homosexual sex than homosexuals - which is the case with many hate groups who often protest with signs showing stick figures having anal intercourse.  Such preoccupation with sex on the part of conservative hate groups presents the illusion that it is the homosexual who is preoccupied with sex as we are often having to defend ourselves from such attacks on our sexual practices, unlike our heterosexual counterparts.

In fact, just this morning when I rolled out of bed, headed to the shower and ultimately got ready for work, sex didn’t cross my mind at all.  Instead I was concerned about the inclement weather and the accidents on the highway which would likely result.  I talked with my mother, not about sex but about plans for the holiday and which relatives would be at her house and when they would arrive.  I called the office to let them know I was delayed due to the accidents on the highway.  Not once did I think about sex.

I didn’t think about sex at all this morning until I read of Mr. Weyrich’s death and ultimately, many of the stupid things he has said about homosexuals over the course of his lifetime - it was Mr. Weyrich that was preoccupied with homosexual sex in his battle against the homosexual, and his preoccupation with it was the only reason I thought of sex at all this morning.

I’m currently working on a story regarding gay and lesbian people in the military.  If you are a gay or lesbian person currently serving in the U.S. Military under the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (”DADT”) policy, I would love to talk with you.  I can be contacted using the contact form on this site or by a friend request on yahoo- user id is jaysaysdotcom.  Please state in your message that you are contacting me regarding DADT.

I’m also interested in speaking with heterosexuals in the U.S. military regarding their opinions and views of DADT.  Should you choose, your personal information will remain completely confidential.

On another note, I also encourage you to report LGBT discrimination to jaysays.com and let me investigate the claims and demand answers.

Finding a good opening line for the Stupid Things People Say About Gays series isn’t always easy.  Particularly, because I get angry sometimes while wading through the pile of crap people consider to be legitimate arguments.  I want to start off with vicious words - sometimes even profane, but instead - take a look at this common and stupid misconception about gay civil marriage:

But I do not think that they should be allowed to redefine the definition of an act [marriage] that is sacred to millions of people. - BabyJoel

Again there is confusion over civil marriage and ecclesiastical marriage.  But because I like to make points, let’s assume for a moment that I would agree that marriage, because it is “sacred” to millions of people, should never be redefined.  I would then need to define marriage very specifically, as throughout history it has changed over and over again - to the point where the original purpose of marriage (which was property rights not breeding rights) has become unrecognizable.  Depending on your locale and what time frame you lived in, some more sacred traditions of marriage might have been as follows:

• You would not have met your husband/wife until your wedding day, and if you did it would have been brief.
• Your parents would have negotiated your marriage, planned your wedding, and your wedding guests would escort you and your new spouse to bed for consummation.
• Too much affection in the marriage would be considered “sinful”.
• Too be married, no formal ceremony, ecclesiastical or otherwise, would have been required - simply move-in together.
• You couldn’t marry someone outside of your race.
• A blood test would be required before you could get married.
• Your marriage would be based upon financial gain and power for your family, not on your attractions or emotions.
• The bridegroom would be 30 something and the bride a teenager.
• Should your husband decide to, he could sell your children [which were actually his children as he was the "man of the house" and had dominion over it and all things within it].
• Your husband could have numerous wives (possibly even 700 of them like Solomon).
• Your wedding ring would be a symbol of a successful “bride sell”.
• If you were part of the Oneida colony (1948) every woman and every man would be married to each other and your breeding would be “scientific.”
• Instead of the husband divorcing the wife, he would kill her.  The wife wouldn’t have either option without severe legal repercussions or, more likely, death.
• Marriage impediments were so strict that many could not marry because of a families affinity for another (the parents of one family being close friends with the uncle of another would be enough to keep two people from marrying).
• Your children would be “necessary labor power”.
• Marriage would be a relationship founded on sexual inequality - man’s dominance over woman.
• The Full Faith and Credit clause would not have applied to divorces and remarriages.  [Note:  This occurred in the 1940's and, had it not, could have resulted in someone being legally married in one state to someone and legally divorced in another state to the same person - thus potentially resulting in bigamy in one state and full legal compliance in another].
• Marriage and divorce would be civil, private matters not under the influence of the church (by the way, this was by U.S. law and was later “redefined”).
• Under 17th Century Puritan Law, your marriage would be “no sacrament” and purely secular (again, U.S. law which was later “redefined”).

To further illustrate some more technical points regarding the history of marriage from a historian who has, well, “been there done that”, I refer you to the very smart, Hendrik Hartog, who wrote:

Fifteen years ago there was a significant literature of critiques of marriage and rejections of argument for gay marriage, from within the gay and particularly within the lesbian communities. Those critiques were shaped by statements of the form: Why would we want to buy into this historically unequal, oppressive institution designed for the subordination of women? I may be wrong, but it is my impression that such critiques have disappeared in the last few years. There are many possible explanations for that disappearance, but I suspect that one reason for the disappearance of the critique is the change in the meaning of marriage, as the egalitarian changes of the past generation have become normative and predictable parts of the legal landscape.

What Gay Marriage Teaches About the History of Marriage.

This edition of Stupid Things People Say About Gays gave me great pause.  I couldn’t decide if I could categorize it as “stupid” or if it was just a “different way of thinking.”  My fortune cookie at lunch today did say, “Your perception will switch.”  Interesting that it didn’t say change, but “switch.”  I was momentarily reminded of the song by Fem 2 Fem from the 90’s.  “Switch, I finally tried it, feels good…”  The article I pull this quote from appeared in Christianity Today.

One gay rights slogan goes: “We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it!” National Review columnist John Derbyshire returns the challenge: “We’re here, we’re mildly and tolerantly homophobic, get used to it!” It’s false, he says, to label everyone who resists affirming homosexuality as a dangerous lunatic. We just want to be permitted to live by our convictions.

The article as a whole was very gentle and wasn’t hateful or spiteful at all.  It was written by Frederica Mathewes-Green, author of The Illuminated Heart.  As a non-christian who tries to be tolerant of Christianity, I found myself thinking - How would I feel if a Christian were to tell me “We’re Here, We’re Jesus Freaks, Get used to it.”  Well, truth of the matter is I would likely roll my eyes and tell them that at some point they need to let go of their imaginary friends and grow up.  But that would make me intolerant of a majority that is quickly becoming a minority, and as someone who believes in civil rights for all, I have to consider who is “all.”

John Derbyshire, by way of the aforementioned article, suggests that Christians “… just want to be permitted to live by their convictions.”  I almost fell for it while reading the article, but the truth is they [Christians generally] want everyone to live by their convictions.  Unlike Gay people, Christians actively recruit, which, I suppose, is part of their conviction.

Now, we can agree on something.  As Christian’s want to live by their convictions, so do homosexuals.  Up until recently, the gay agenda was a myth and homosexuals did not actively protest at churches or other religious institutions.  However, after being told to live by the Christian’s convictions or be substandard in the eyes of the Law (not the Lord), gays have had enough.  Thus, your convictions have become to mean as little to me as my convictions mean to you.  After all, I believe it was your god that said, “Do unto others” and “An eye for an eye” and “Happy is he who taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.”

Note:  Recently, a very dear friend of mine who believes herself to be a ‘Christian” became very upset with me for my use of the word.  Apparently, when making claims like “Christians don’t believe in gay marriage,” I was over generalizing.  Well, as I like to say, if the glass slipper fits… However, out of respect for my friend that believes herself to be a “Christian” and having a personal rule to never question someone’s faith, I make note here that my use of the term “Christian” applies solely to those that believe that Jesus Christ is our savior, the Bible is the verbatim word of God and that gay people are going to burn in hell.