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Stupid Things People Say About Gays – Transgender People are Deluded and Don’t Exist

December 11, 2009 By: jaysays Category: Featured, Stupid Things People Say About Gays

Stupid Things People Say About GaysFor those that may not be familiar with Bilerico.com, essentially, it is an LGBT blog community which reports on issues relevant to our community.  The Bilerico Project has over 80 contributors/editors and alumni including some of the most respected names in the LGBT rights movement like, Donna Rose, Jillian T. Wise, David Badash, Joe Solomenese, Kip Williams, Kate Clinton and many, many more. Their list includes the L, the G, the B and the T and reads as a who’s who in the equality movement.  Many authors there are my friends, many have been guests on Closet Talk and I always value their opinions and ideas.

But being friends, colleagues, guests or on a “who’s who” list doesn’t make Bilerico right when it comes to a recent post by contributor, Ronald Gold.  I can certainly understand publishing a piece that turns out to have a factual inaccuracy or even one that expresses an unpopular opinion. However, Ronald Gold may have expressed the least informed, most unfounded opinion ever published in an LGBT forum by a supposed advocate for equality.

In the article recently published, Mr. Gold makes the claim that gender is solely biological, then leaps to the conclusion that such fact evidences that “transgender” does not exist. As if this ill-advised conclusion isn’t dangerous enough, Mr. Gold continues:

I would, however, get after the doctors – the psychiatrists who use a phony medical model to invent a disease that doesn’t exist, and the surgeons who use such spurious diagnoses to mutilate the bodies of the deluded.

Did you catch that?  Mr. Gold just stated that transgender people are “deluded” in a forum designed to support LGBT people.  Did the world go amiss or was bilerico.com not getting enough traffic to substantiate the cost of advertising on the site?

Unfortunately for Mr. Gold and the Bilerico Project, such marketing ploy (if it is one) or such ignorance (which it more likely is) reflects not only on Mr. Gold, but the entire Bilerico Project and its contributors.  Obviously, Donna Rose would disagree with Mr. Gold’s position as well as many other contributors, but rather than publish an apology, the editorial staff at Bilerico Project chose instead to post the following editor’s note at the beginning of the post (several hours after its publication):

All posts published on Bilerico Project do not reflect the opinions of nor any endorsement by the Editorial Team. Many Bilerico readers and contributors have found Ronald Gold’s op-ed offensive or needlessly coarse. The idea behind Bilerico Project is to encourage dialogue among different facets of the LGBT community that might normally never interact this intimately. We encourage all readers to continue responding to Mr. Gold in the same spirit his post was written – with positive intent while bluntly stating your own opinion and experiences.

While I’m ordinarily quick to defend fellow equality fighters, I would have hoped that the editorial staff would have recognized hate speech and chosen not to publish the article.  In no way was this article written with “positive intent.”  I have to say I’m very disappointed with the Bilerico Project for helping propogate lies and misinformation about transgender people – even if it was just a publicity stunt.

Now you get my editor’s note for this post.  The column, Stupid Things People Say About Gays (of which this post is part of) uses the term “Gay” inclusively.  It’s always been so and will always be so.  jaysays.com and all of its contributors strive to be fully inclusive and leave no freak behind.  More Stupid Things People Say About Gays can be found here.

LGBT Lessons for Straight People: Discrimination Ends at Home

November 30, 2009 By: geekgirl Category: Featured, LGBT Lessons for Straight People

Gay EducationSometimes I have questions that don’t have answers. Sometimes I have questions that I figure if I write about them, it will bring on a barrage of angry comments. Then, I discover I still have the question. Today’s question is about prejudice. Is it better when people are overt about their prejudice, or is it better when they hide their prejudice? For me, the answer has become more complex. I have always believed that I would rather have someone be honest, even if it’s ugly, because then I know where they stand. I found myself debating the value of silencing ugly speech, and I surprised myself.

Prejudice, bigotry, stereotyping; One of my favorites is “It’s reaching the point where a person can’t say anything about homosexuals without being called names.”

I grew up in the sixties. It was an every day occurrence to tell jokes regarding someone’s ethnicity, race or religion. People just couldn’t get that the jokes were hurtful. They would protest that they were only jokes and meant no harm. We still hear that today.  Worse were the comments intended to be blatantly derogatory. Negative stereotyping and generalizations about any group of people are typically  inaccurate and damaging. Slowly, as a people, we’ve learned that our words were hurting people, even when we thought we were telling innocent jokes. Many of those that purposely and knowingly practiced hate speech were on the end of enough social pressure to stay silent. It didn’t necessarily mean that their minds had changed.

And that’s the part that would bother me – knowing that bigotry still exists in people’s hearts, behind closed mouths, behind closed doors. I have always maintained that I would rather know someone is a bigot. After all, people are still finding plenty of ways to discriminate against people, they just hide their bigotry behind something else.

After reading articles about LGBT rights and readers comments for over a year now, I found myself pondering the question of the social pressure to refrain from making derogatory comments. (Please note carefully. I said social pressure, not legal pressure. I’m a big fan of freedom of speech. I don’t deserve freedom of speech if I want to take it away from someone else.)  I began to realize the benefit of making this kind of talk unacceptable. Our children don’t hear it. I want to believe that each generation of kids has become more open, that it is natural for them to have friends of different races, ethnicities, religions, sexual orientation and political beliefs.

Do I really want my son to hear people making ugly comments about someone’s religion? Someone’s gender? Their race? Ethnicity? No. I don’t. So I have come to realize that pressuring people into silence has risks but also has value. When we don’t speak up against hateful words, we make it acceptable. We build a better society for all of our children when they aren’t exposed to prejudice and bigotry. When they don’t learn bigotry, they won’t move on to the next steps of verbally and physically harming people.

We learn prejudice and hate. We learn name calling and stereotyping.  Can we learn the meaning of human dignity acceptance and respect?  Does this mean I accept and support everything that everyone says? No. It means I look at each person for who they are as a person; their behavior, their values. Are they honest? Are they kind? Do their actions hurt others? Do they treat others with respect and dignity? Do they stand up for the weak? Do I judge people when I don’t like their actions? I would like to say I don’t, but I do. However, I tell them what I don’t like and why. I don’t threaten to kill them. Believe me, it twists them in knots when you refuse to stoop to their level.

We live in a society where divisiveness and sensationalism are so pervasive, we call it news. People on the extremes get the attention of the media. This creates impressions that cause us to make sweeping generalizations about groups of people. This is done to LGBT people every day. We shouldn’t lower ourselves to that standard.  Direct your voices to the individuals who have hurt you. Thank those that support you.

LGBT people have faced discrimination and brutality for too long. We can’t change the world through violence. We can’t change it by being silent. We can’t change it by asking nicely. We can change it through courage, an unwillingness to back down, and articulate and persuasive arguments.  But mostly, we can change the world by living our values.

“It’s reaching the point where a person can’t say anything homosexuals without being called names.” All I can say is – I certainly hope so!

To find that heart of compassion in brutal leaders and people in power situations is, I imagine, one of your greater challenges. Power by humiliation is an acquired disease, cultivated by thousands of years of pathological history. We need to find the antidote, which is compassion coupled with a firm, non-violent use of resistance and pressure

– Victor Zurbel, November 30, 2006, in a personal message.

Where, after all, do universal human rights begin? In small places, close to home—so close and so small that they cannot be seen on any map of the world. Yet they are the world of the individual person: the neighborhood he lives in; the school or college he attends; the factory, farm or office where he works. Such are the places where every man, woman, and child seeks equal justice, equal opportunity, equal dignity without discrimination. Unless these rights have meaning there, they have little meaning anywhere.

– Eleanor Roosevelt

jaysays.com contributor geekgirlgeekgirl: Jude is a straight woman, a mom and has been married for 32 years to the same wonderful man. She believes in Buddhism and attends the United Church of Christ. She is a molecular biologist, her best friend is a lesbian, and she believes that every human deserves equal rights, respect and a life free from hate, fear and discrimination. The only thing she hates is pickles. Her science blog can be found at LGBT Latest Science.

LGBT Lessons for Straight People: Words of Hate on Prop 8.

May 25, 2009 By: geekgirl Category: LGBT Lessons for Straight People

Gay EducationTuesday, June First, the California Supreme Court will announce it’s decision at 10 a.m. Pacific Time. Today I looked at two websites. The LA Times and the Independent Mind. As usual, reader comments are all over the board. I’ve selected some of the negative comments and I have highlighted, in red, the words that reveal the hatred, bigotry, lies and ignorance of the people making these posts.  I have copied these comments exactly and I have not corrected any spelling or grammatical errors. I welcome every reader to link to this blog, copy the words to your own blog and share this blog with your friends.

I can’t help but ask myself. If these individuals were face to face with a gay person, would they say these words? The Internet provides anonymity. That has its positives – because all of us want to stay safe. It also has its negatives. We say things we would probably never say directly to a person. If you can’t say it to someone’s face, maybe you shouldn’t say it? For those of you that share the feelings that you are about to read, I challenge you to take the time to read some facts.  I challenge you to open your heart and think what if you were in the shoes of a gay person. Don’t judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes. If your positions are correct, it shouldn’t hurt you to listen to the other side.

I’m not gay. I have many gay friends and they are are good people. Do you know someone who is gay? If not, I challenge you to purposely meet someone. For those of you that are unable to listen to why gay people deserve the same rights as straight people, hear this. Gay people are not going to shut up. They are being denied rights. You want to stop hearing about it? Give everyone equal rights and let everyone get on with their lives.

And now, on to the comments.

It’s not about giving or denying gay rights… but about demoralizing what a healthy, house & family is all about. Most of people endorsing gay marriages, don’t want their children to be educated in a gay home. This is hypocrisy! Church Ministers will be forced by law to celebrate gay marriage. Is this fair?

Posted by: Marcel | May 24, 2009 at 02:47 PM

No minister will be forced to celebrate gay marriage. Today, a minister can deny performing a wedding service to anyone. Besides, a church wedding isn’t needed to make marriage legal. It has nothing to do with civil marriage. Don’t believe me? Ask your clergyman. Or the county courthouse.

Facism is Facism. The “No on Prop 8” supporters have embraced FACISM! Their Mantra is “GAY FACISM UEBER ALLES!”

Posted by: Steve | May 24, 2009 at 07:38 AM

I have no clue what this means. But I think it’s from someone who is crazy.

You know what? I think that everyone who is unhappy with the outcome of Prop 8 should leave California immediately. Obviously you are very unhappy and you should live elsewhere that will accommodate any perversion you want. Frankly, I’m looking forward to the Supreme Court upholding the will of the people to determine what their society will look like. This isn’t a race thing so don’t give me that. This is a sexual perversion thing and I’m glad the people of California had the guts to say NO MORE! Others States who are having this issue crammed down their throats will rise up and follow suit. You watch! It will happen

Posted by: CAPearl | May 22, 2009 at 05:14 PM

I always love this solution. Don’t like how I think? Move. That’s intelligent. Crammed down their throats? I have lost count of the number of times that a religious person has knocked on my door, wanting to come in and preach to me. Never, not once, has a gay person, anywhere, tried to invade my home or what I think. Why? First, they are only interested in living their own lives. Second, someone like you might answer the door and kill them.

Gays have their Civil unions and domestic partnerships. This minority of deviants should never have the authority or power to redefine marriage or our society based on their perversions. We chose to honor male and females in marriage. We said it twice to the gays in elections. What part of “No” and “Get lost” do you not understand? Leave marriage alone. You don’t need our tradition. Make your own. And don’t beg us for validation.

Posted by: jeffrey hepler | May 22, 2009 at 04:47 PM

For the ten billionth time, this isn’t about tradition, it’s about legal rights. Civil unions and domestic partnerships cover a small fraction of the legal benefits of marriage. There are 1138 rights given to married people scattered throughout Federal Law. Look it up. And what part of equal rights and Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You don’t you understand?

Gays and Lesbians will have no choice but to abide by the law whether they like it or not. Gays and Lesbians Do Not have the right to disturb the peace or to threaten anyone who disagrees with no on Prop. 8 or their sexual orientation.

Asking for rights is disturbing the peace? It might be disturbing your narrow view of the world. Go in the closet if it bothers you. See what that is like.

Marriage is not a right to anyone, and Gays and Lesbians need to get it through their heads. If Gays and Lesbians continue to persist, they will bring on the hate and suffer the consequences of those who will not tolerate their behavior.

Marriage is a right for heterosexuals but not for gays and lesbians ,and heterosexuals need to get that through their heads. Thanks for the warning about the hate but it’s already here. Your side has not been shy about holding back. But I do thank you for having the courage to put your hatred and threats in writing. Are you willing to say these things publicly to a gay person to their face?

From Independent Minds


copycat7 wrote:



You’re kind of late copycat.  The American Psychology Association removed homosexuality as a mental illness thirty years ago. They disgust you? Just curious. Do you KNOW a gay person? Just one? I challenge you to open your mind long enough to attempt to get to know someone who is gay. Actually, you probably do know someone who is gay. They are just smart enough to know that coming out to you would be dangerous.

Re: Copycatis hate crime

zahradelaplata wrote:

Monday, 25 May 2009 at 12:34 pm (UTC)what marginality? The only marginal ones are gays. They are nothing but 3% of world population, and they try to force the rest of us, the real normal people, to accept’them as normal ones. They are not. Never will be. 97% is straight, that shows that the mere 3% is the exception to the rule, and definitely not the norm, hence, nothing normal or any need to accept their agenda. It’s unbelievable how some minuscule groups force the majority, and brainwash society, just because they have the media and enough money to push these issues. You want to live your life? OK, do so between the walls of your bedroom, and leave the rest of us alone. Don’t expect the majorities (like the one in California), accept or bend to your whims. See what you gays are trying to do in California. YOU LOST a democratic vote. DEAL WITH IT. But nooo, you just can’t, right? You have to terrorize normals, use your economic muscle, your media capacity to force the majority to change what they decided in a ballot. That shows you what is the real frame of mind of gays. They don’t just want their so called rights, they have to stomp over the opinions of others, and force them to their whims. What’s next? Promoting homosexuality in schools, so you can harvest new kids for your zoo sooner? And we’ll have to accept it, right? Riiiight.

Mormons are 1.7% of the population. In fact, most of us are in a minority for something. What  does a percent have to do with anything? What percent would it take to convince you they are normal? Terrorize? Gay people want the same rights as the rest of us. I have an idea. Keep your hatred and bigotry inside your house and leave the rest of us alone. Harvesting kids? People are born gay. Or did you go through some agonizing process of deciding to be straight?

it’s wrong wrong wrong

joshuacohen2003 wrote:

Monday, 25 May 2009 at 02:02 pm (UTC)Gays are just wrong in every sense of normal rational behaviour.
forget the religious aspect because that’s plain and simple and clearly obvious. No religion on earth condones homosexuality.

However lets look at it from an atheistic, scientific, logical, rational point of view. It’s still glarignly obvious to anyone with a few brain cells that being homosexual is just idiotic nonsense. nature created males and females.

end of argument.

Dear Joshua Cohen. Your lack of scientific education and knowledge of religious texts is stunning.  There is a growing body of evidence that sexual orientation has biological origins. Go to Entrez Pubmed and search the REAL scientific literature. Religion? There are groups in every faith that welcome LGBT members. Jews, Christians, Catholics, Buddhists, even Muslim. The religious aspect is anything but obvious. People wrote ancient scriptures 2000 plus years ago. The words have been misinterpreted and the cultural context lost. Why do these words hold more convincing power than modern day science? I’m sorry, that makes no sense to me.

These comments are not only factually wrong, they hurt real people. People who are daughters, sons, brothers and sisters. Real humans who are the same as me and you. I find these comments so unethical, so filled with unfounded prejudice, so unAmerican that I am ashamed. Dehumanizing others so that we don’t have to face our biases, so we don’t have to feel that they are as human as we are,  is a slippery slope, the same slope that led to slavery and the Holocaust. Haven’t we learned anything from our own history? Our world history? We look back now and are ashamed of the discrimination in our nation’s past. The next generation will look back on the fight for gay rights the same way. It is already happening. In the end, hate always loses.

Racist Homophobes “Vandalize” LGBT Web Site

December 12, 2008 By: jaysays Category: Hate Crimes, LGBT News

Join the Impact is a community driven website centered around LGBTQ people and their supporters.  The design of the site allows members to actively change aspects of pages, add content and update tags.  A small contingent of users have abused this site, vandalizing it by adding tags to the discussions such as “Butt Pirates, Faggots, Ass Rape, Cum Guzzlers, Fucking Faggots, Niggers, Fudge Packers” and other derogatory terms.

Although legitimate users are removing the remarks, the haters continue their efforts.  This is a prime example of the mistreatment of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered persons (and the continued mistreatment of “people of color”) in society.

I remain baffled as to why mainstream society doesn’t recognize this hatred for what it is – poor education.  As the religious right continues to lie about the LGBT community (isn’t lying a sin?) we will continue to see such acts of hatred.

NOTE:  I used the phrase “people of color” above as that phrase always makes me think of a bumper sticker I see periodically in South Texas which reads “De Colores” (of color) with a rainbow behind it.  Although I think that is actually a Latino art community sticker, it has always given me pause.