jaysays.com |

because simon isn’t cool anymore.
Subscribe

Stupid Things People Say About Gays: TSA Infultrated by Homosexuals who like to Pat People Down

December 01, 2010 By: jaysays Category: Featured, Stupid Things People Say About Gays

In light of the controversy surrounding the new extensive pat downs and body scanning by TSA, much ado has been made about a traveler’s privacy.  Reports are out that the body scans have resulted in searches because of feminine hygiene products and colostomy bags, but leave it to the right-wing to blame the new policies on the gays.

Eugene Delgaudio, a Loudon County, VA Board of Supervisors representative, recently informed not only the public at large, but also the gay community of a devious plan by the Homosexual Board of Directors (HBD), the group of gays who release the Gay Agenda and originally drafted the Gay Bill of Special Rights, to use the pat downs as a way of getting sexual gratification they otherwise would not be able to achieve:

It’s the federal employee’s version of the Gay Bill of Special Rights… That means the next TSA official that gives you an ‘enhanced pat down’ could be a practicing homosexual secretly getting pleasure from your submission.

As a rule, I no longer participate in the meetings of the HBD.  I stopped attending after getting a stripe taken away for a quip about how I wanted to have sex with George W. Bush.  Without asking for my explanation (which was very reasonable and involved proving his stance on homosexuality was due to his own repressed feelings), I was demoted from Super Flaming Homosexual by the Board to Tired Old Queen.  That said and noting my bitterness toward the HBD, I still don’t buy Mr. Delgaudio’s explanation for the new TSA’s procedures.

In fact, the new procedures are more likely a result of fear-mongering, something that is outside the scope of and has never been a part of the mission or vision of the HBD.  However, it does sound a lot like something Eugene Delgaudio and his fellow self-loathing closet cases might just do in order to have an excuse to have a man feel them up.  Rumors abound that Ted Haggard led the charge for the new procedures.

NOTE: For more of the column, Stupid Things People Say About Gays, click here.

Having Laid My Eternal Soul to Rest

February 10, 2009 By: jaysays Category: Commentary, Religion

As many of my readers know, I am an atheist.  This does not mean I lack faith, morality or inspiration; it merely means I find such outside of “God” or “Jesus” or “Allah.”  I find my faith, morality and inspiration from other people and from within myself.  Lately, however, I’ve come to some moments of questioning.  This is not to say I am questioning whether or not I believe in God; that is something that I feel is unquestionable.  I do not.  I’ve recently allowed myself to open discussions with people of the Christian faith and in so doing have realized something that may be a source of religious unkindness toward me; I have closed my heart and mind from religion.

Yesterday, my partner of 11 years, Christopher, was having a conversation with a friend.  The friend offered Christopher some coupons she had for Chick-Fil-A.  Christopher advised her that he is no longer eating at that establishment because of their contributions to organizations which continue to support violation of equal civil rights for homosexuals.  A person nearby, purporting to be a Christian, approached the conversation and emphatically stated that mariage was between a man and a woman, the Bible says so.  As you can imagine, Christopher was angry and frustrated that this person, who was in no way part of the conversation, felt obliged to approach him.  He relayed his story to me and I began pondering the question I pose here:

What is it about my eternal soul that makes Christians feel they have the right to deny me my mortal joy?

This is particularly relevant in my case because, as an atheist, I laid the idea of my eternal soul to rest years ago.  I don’t believe I have an eternal soul and therefore don’t feel it needs to be saved. Although Christian Fundamentalists may feel they are doing the right thing in attempting to save me, I feel they are degrading my personal beliefs, choices and sense of self.  Am I a danger to their eternity?

As I thought about what happened to Christopher, I became more and more angry; then it hit me.  I’m angry and passionate about my own belief in civil equality and I expect them to listen to me, but I refuse to listen to them; am I thus a hypocrite?

I’ve always considered myself to be a free-thinker, open minded and very kind and loving.  These are the qualities I thought best defined me.  But I realized I had closed my mind to religion and dismissed it entirely, not just to those within religion that have caused our people [LGBT people] to suffer so greatly.  In fact, I had become so entangled in my own disdain for religion, that a simple “God Bless You” after a sneeze would result in me rolling my eyes.  So, today I emailed a Baptist Pastor, who has extended an offer to me to join him for lunch after his church service, to advise him that I accept his offer.  I’m looking forward to the opportunity to better my understanding of his faith and, with any luck, open a door in my heart to religious people that has been closed for many years.

You’d Be Fat Too

October 22, 2008 By: jaysays Category: Commentary, Thought of the Gay

This is the introduction to my book project, You’d Be Fat Too.  I share the introduction in an effort to gain interest as I prepare to complete the project and publish my first novel.  This is a “Coming of Age” tale about my life, generally.  It is a work in progress just like my life.  Cross posted from our child site at ejOculation.com .

I am a happy person. I’m a happy person because I eat. I eat to remain a happy person; it’s that simple. As a man, stereotypically, vanity would not be an issue. As a homosexual man, vanity defines me – vanity and food that is. Ordinarily, I would avoid a full length mirror, but sometimes curiosity gets the best of me. I remember myself as a young, attractive, slender man with varying body fat of 6 to 10 percent. I enjoy holding onto that memory of me in spite of the truths revealed in the full length mirror. Unlike Alice, I do not see the White Rabbit or the Cheshire Cat when I gaze into the looking glass. I see fat… fat in places I didn’t know could be fat, like my arm pit… how did I get fat there? One stumble in front of the full length mirror led me to the discovery that I do still have a penis, in spite of having not seen it in a very long time… not by looking down at it anyway. It’s certain that my penis has not gotten fat along with me. If only one could gain weight in their penis first, instead of their gut, then every man would be fat and every woman would be force feeding him.  (more…)