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Why Would You Say That – Really? A Mark Sanford Moment.

June 26, 2009 By: MJ Category: Commentary, Featured, Thought of the Gay

reallyHere we go again folks – another political figure, Mark Sanford, “bites the dust”.  First he disappears – not into thin air (so to speak).  He does exist someplace on this planet we call Earth.  According to the media his family – meaning his wife – becomes concerned because he doesn’t usually miss the Father’s Day celebration.  Now I didn’t find information as to whether or not his grown sons had planned to spend the day with him on Sunday – but truly I have no concern as to how they celebrate Father’s Day (and I don’t really care – it’s their personal business).  Actually I consider Father’s Day another commercial greeting card opportunity – and I believe that parents who have earned the respect of their children should be honored every day.

Then – according to the media he was on some sort of hike on some sort of trail.  Okay then I hope he enjoys his hike and if his wife wears heels then well a hiking trail wouldn’t be a good place for her to wear them (heels – you get the idea).

Then – the media tells us that the hiking trail was the site for a very special few days of nude hiking – I have one thing to say about that…

WHO   CARES  —  I sure don’t.

Now.  Now. Okay – here I go: this man – happens to be a governor – happens to be a heterosexual (as far as I know) –  happens to be married.  In other words Governor Mark Sanford decided to publicly proclaim that he has been unfaithful to his marriage and to his wife and tell anybody who will listen that he has had an affair.

Oh my yuck!!   I mean exactly that.  If this man is going to choose to be unfaithful to his wife and his marriage vows well shouldn’t that be between himself and his wife – privately?  I think so.

But wait… there’s more.  Now there is the political aspect.  He was a very naughty Governor.  Now we are getting to one of the two things that bothers me the most about this whole media folly.  Yes, I saw the article where there were photographs of him wiping his eyes.  What bothers me is that he was elected to the office of Governor of the State of South Carolina – and I believe that puts him in charge of the state itself.  He makes decisions and runs things and has a lot of responsibilities to the folks who elected him – and also responsibilities to those who did not vote to elect him.  In other words the state is his responsibility.  That wasn’t good enough for him though.  He just absolutely positively had to jump on a plane and sneak off to another country – to see his “dear dear friend”.  Well let’s see – he just absolutely had to go.  Well not everybody has good self control – but too bad!  Some people need instant gratification – not always a good thing.  Maybe his “dear dear friend” couldn’t legally come to the U.S. – and oh yeah – the “sanctity of his marriage” would probably get in the way if she came here.  But – he left the state he is responsible for (not to mention his wife and sons) without telling anybody???  Isn’t somebody at least supposed to be running the state???

This is where I mention the second thing that is bothering me about this.  The “sanctity of marriage” thing – isn’t that what so many members of the Republican party are so busy trying to protect — why they don’t want us (members of the LGBT community) to have Marriage Equality?????  They speak about how important it is to protect marriage as a traditional institution – the sanctity of marriage – and they lie and they cheat and they sneak away – then they go even further outside the “privacy” of their marriage and lie in their jobs as “elected officials”.  So now it is okay for Republican politicians to cheat on their marriage if they publicly announce that they have done it?  I don’t think so.  Is this now the new fad?  Wow, I certainly hope not!  That is supposed to make it okay?  Wait – and if they cry while they are proclaiming that they have been unfaithful to their “traditional” marriage that makes it even more okay?

Uuuhhh…. nope.

It shouldn’t.  Either a marriage is made up of two people who love each other and fully respect each other – or it isn’t.  Politicians (and others) who are anti-gay proclaim constantly that they are trying to protect the sanctity of traditional marriage.  Um… excuse me folks …. but isn’t it a part of the marriage vows (traditional or otherwise) to be expressing that love and cherishing each other?  That is what I always thought.

There are so many LGBT couples who are and have been truly in love with each other – and together for many years – who deserve to be married.  Why do they deserve to be married?  Well I will tell you.  They deserve to be married because they love each other and respect each other – and remain faithful to their promises to each other.  (No matter who their dear dear friends happen to be or how attractive they are).

So ….  anti-Marriage Equality folks out there who are reading this and who can “relate” to the Governor’s “dilemma” …. who on this planet Earth …. WHO  do you think you are fooling?  Marriage doesn’t depend upon two persons of the opposite gender – it depends upon two people who are so much in love with each other that no matter how much a “dear dear friend” might seem attractive – they honor their promises.  A public apology does not make the difference.   Honoring the person you love and respect makes the difference – whether that person is of the same sex or opposite sex.  So… you say Gay Marriage will be the downfall of “traditional marriage”?  I disagree – I think heterosexual spouses who cheat on their “beloved” spouse (and maybe even leave the country to do it – and maybe even leave their job totally unattended to do it) are doing fine on their own.

So once again – Why Would You Say That – REALLY???

mjpngwnz: MJ, a/k/a pngwnz, is summarizing LGBT current events each week for jaysays.com and the Why Would You Say That – Really? series. She is an out lesbian with an affinity for the music of Phil Collins and Carole King. She has been an invaluable resource as a reader and idea bouncer-off-er [yeah, that’s the word we are using] and we are pleased to have her as part of the team!

The Origins of Love

April 14, 2009 By: jaysays Category: Commentary, Thought of the Gay

A day at the mall

A day at the mall

When I was 15 years old, I met a girl who changed my life forever.  Her name was Crystal  [center in photo].  I was smitten by her beauty in spite of my homosexuality, and we became “girlfriend” and “boyfriend.”

The romance lasted a week because, as she would put it, “You’re more like a brother to me.”  I put it differently, “I don’t like girls.”

The next 17 years were filled with adventures, including long road trips throughout Texas, Louisiana and New Mexico.  We changed our names on our road trips and became Gustoff and Gaston – explorers and slayers of alligators (usually fried into little bites before we slayed them).  We shared audio books and stories of boys, jacuzzi tubs and shooting stars.  We laughed ourselves into uncontrollable fits and often nearly got our asses whooped by those who didn’t understand us.

One day, while in El Paso, Texas, we were standing in line at the store.  She saw a young man who had dyed his hair black and blonde, semi-skunk like.  She says, very loudly, but not where the young man could hear her, I hate when people dye their hair like that.”

Regrettably, a young woman in line in front of us had even more tragic hair.  The color of orange that does not exist in nature and usually results when someone of Hispanic decent attempts to peroxide themselves.  The woman, with “butt-hole lips” (the term we use for brown lipstick with black eyeliner used as lip liner) turned and says while popping her head, “You talking to me!”

Crystal starts laughing very hard and says, “Oh no, not you, that other guy. I don’t look up!”  This was a true statement.  Most of Cyrstal’s time was spent staring at people’s asses – a result of her wheelchair.  Looking up was something very difficult for her, reserved to the rare occasions of necessity.

At this point, Ms. Ese [Ms. Thang] says, “I started to say, at least say it where I can’t hear you.”

These sorts of adventures were common place with Crystal.  She always spoke what was on her mind and never worried about getting us in arguments with random strangers by accidentally offending someone she wasn’t even talking about.  Our memories are many, our love strong and our hearts forever bound together.

At 11:01 p.m. U.S.A. Central on April 13, 2009 at the age of 33 years old, after the most valiant struggle to survive ever witnessed, Crystal Marie Quiroz, beloved friend, wife, aunt, sister and daughter, left this Earth.  She was surrounded by friends and family until the very end.  She will be missed.

jaysays.com will be sharing stories of Crystal to celebrate her life and love and I encourage those that have known her to share their own stories.

Thank you Lupe for your post: Crystal

A Family of Misfits: From Christophersays.

From Mindlgrrl’s Little Backyard – Too Little Too Late.

From our dearest MJ: She’s Gone.

From Dre-Dre: Crystal