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LGBT Lessons for Straight People: Ridicule and Oppression is not Tolerance.

July 29, 2010 By: geekgirl Category: Headline, LGBT Lessons for Straight People

LGBT Lessons for Straight People - Why Equality MattersThe National Organization for Marriage, with its key speakers Brian Brown, Maggie Gallagher and Louis J. Marinelli III, are touring the country.

Their rhetoric has changed and I am the first to admit that there must be a genius, albeit it one without morals, on their team. They tried, and succeeded, in taking away marriage from California and Maine by telling lies. Do we all remember the Gathering Storm video? Letting gays marry will mean that:

  • homosexuality will be taught in schools (wrong),
  • will force churches to marry them (wrong),
  • gays will make bad parents (wrong), and
  • since gays are pedophiles, we will condone that sort of thing (very wrong).

The arguments went on:

  • Gays cannot procreate. [Well, procreation is not a requirement for marriage.]
  • Homosexuality is a choice and is deviant behavior (wrong).
  • If we make gay marriage legal, where will it end? We’ll legalize pedophilia and bestiality.

What they are really saying is that they believe gay people are sick.

Pedophilia is abhorrent and is mostly committed by people that identify as heterosexuals. Just ask the Catholic Church, they are experts in this area.

What they fail to recognize is that being gay is not a mental illness, it is not a choice. Couples who want to marry are simply trying to make a commitment so strong that they are willing to commit to each other legally and financially. Marriage is what stabilizes families; all families.

Their Biblical arguments are a failure. Again and again, they ignore the points about other sins in the Bible. They cannot seem to remember that adultery made it to the Ten Commandments, not being gay. They cherry pick from Bible verses. Proven wrong at the Prop 8 trial, they have now resorted to two strategies.

The first is that there is something special about the union between a man and a woman. We can all see this right? Special. I don’t remember the word special anywhere in our Declaration of Independence or Constitution. I have not seen our country evolve to take away rights. We have always read more deeply into our founding documents to expand rights. Should we have stayed in 1776 when white male property owners were the only ones who could vote and slavery was legal? We have come a long way in over 200 years. But we are not done.

Their second strategy is playing the victim card. NOM is now the face of tolerance. They want civil dialogue. Those who disagree should be civil. Yes, if someone wanted to take away my rights, I’m sure I would just sit by politely and calmly and let them. [Sarcasm].

Everyone’s love is special. Tolerance? That is what they call denying rights now? Tolerance?

Do you want to know what NOM supporters really believe? Visit their Facebook page Protect Marriage: One Man, One Woman. Here are some lovely screen shots of the discussions that occur there:

Judge for yourself, is this tolerance?

Protect Marriage: One Man One Woman

Protect Marriage: One Man One Woman

Protect Marriage: One Man One WomanNational Organization for the denial of Marriage to Loving Couples (a/k/a NOM)

National Organization for the denial of Marriage to Loving Couples (a/k/a NOM)
And if you still see “tolerance,” take a look at this video of Larry Adams, a NOM supporter and Rally attendee from Equality on Trial:

jaysays.com contributor geekgirlgeekgirl: Jude, the author of this post, is a straight woman, a mom and has been married for 32 years to the same wonderful man. She believes in Buddhism and attends the United Church of Christ. She is a molecular biologist, her best friend is a lesbian, and she believes that every human deserves equal rights, respect and a life free from hate, fear and discrimination. The only thing she hates is pickles. Her science blog can be found at LGBT Latest Science. More of LGBT Lessons for Straight People can be found here.

Fear, Freedom and Shaving your Head

January 06, 2010 By: jaysays Category: Commentary, Featured, Thought of the Gay

Recently, I stumbled upon an article online which captured my attention.  It was a first person account of a heterosexual woman who decided to shave her head.  While the account was from the mid-1990’s, it expressed something that rings true even today:

For the first few weeks after I shaved my head, I walked around very nervously, convinced that people were going to jump out of alleys and beat me up for being a lesbian.

Because I am straight and have a lot of straight friends who I am certain are totally disinterested in hurting my large number of gay friends, I knew that not all straight people hate all gay people. That didn’t matter. I was still nervous.

In some ways, the post reminded me of the conversation I had with Jane Wishon, a straight alley working hard in California to overturn Proposition 8.  But I also noted that the author, Kaitlin (aka Ducky), expressed fear that being perceived to be a lesbian would result in physical harm to her.

This got me to thinking about how successful those in the heterosexual community that devote their lives to tormenting LGBT people have been at promoting terror.  (This isn’t the first time I’ve implied – or even outright stated – that organizations such as the National Organization for [Heterosexual Only] Marriage and the American [Heterosexual Only] Family Association are terrorist groups; however, Kaitlin’s story reinforces my opinion.)

These organizations may think they are simply keeping marriage contracts from being entered into by same-sex couples, but through their lies to defend marriage from a same-sex takeover, they are propagating the idea that it’s ok to harm LGBT people.  The result is fear within our community, like that felt by Kaitlin.

Kaitlin was lucky as she didn’t experience any violence against her person.  Unfortunately, not all LGBT people (or those perceived to be LGBT) are as lucky as Kaitlin.  According to the 2008 FBI Hate crimes Statistics, there were 1673 victims of a bias based crime due to their status as LGBT – over four victims per day.  [For clarification, the term victim can include businesses/organizations as well as persons.  The calculations also exclude the 33 incidents of purported bias crimes based on heterosexual status (roughly 1 per every 10 days)].

But fear only has the power that we give it – and boy do we ever give it power.  As examples, Christopher and I rarely, if ever, hold hands in public; many of my friends speak in gender neutral terms about their spouses or boyfriends/girlfriends when among strangers; a heterosexual ally was convinced to remove the equality stickers by a fellow queer because he was afraid she would get hurt or her car would be broken into as she lives and works in a very small, rural, conservative town.

Until we can truly conquer that fear, we will not obtain equality or freedom – we will remain, marriage equality or not, victims of the majority tyranny.  I for one am tired of being a victim.  How about you?

If Maggie Gallagher is Upset, Then So Am I!

September 10, 2009 By: geekgirl Category: Commentary, Featured, Thought of the Gay

nomMaggie Gallagher of NOM, the National Organization for [Heterosexual Only] Marriage recently said:

This is not an issue of free speech but of neighborliness. Fundamental decency requires that we treat each other with respect, especially when we disagree deeply on hot moral issues. Sadly, I’ve grown used to the reality that tolerance is now a one-way street for gay marriage advocates. It no longer matters how respectfully and civilly one makes the case for humanity’s marriage tradition.

You see, Maggie is upset that people think she is a bigot. She is upset that people tell her that what she is doing is gay hate. Maggie just wants to be your neighbor. Because she has been respectfully and civilly making the case for humanity’s marriage tradition.

And if Maggie is upset, then I am upset. Because I actually agree that fundamental decency requires that we treat each other with respect. I feel hurt. I am so upset that I cried, got out of bed and I am writing this at midnight.  So if you are reading this blog, I would appreciate it if you would send this blog everywhere you can. Tomorrow I will print it and send it to Maggie.

Dear Maggie,

Allow me to help you understand.  You are hurting real people. Real people that love each other. Do you know how many gay couples I know? Let me count: Five couples that are close friends. That visit us and we visit them. People I speak to and work with every single day. About another 20 couples at church. Another 20 or so from work or other social groups.

You have hurt them to the point where I have seen them cry. You have made ME cry! You have made me angry and my friends angry. How dare you hurt people you don’t even know? Then you cry victim? Poor Maggie! I’m so sorry Maggie. If I had known you were so sensitive, I would have…….. wait, I would have done nothing differently. No one is trying to take away your marriage or any of your rights. So just exactly what are you upset about?  But maybe someone should take away your marriage. Then you might see how it feels.

My friends are real people, with real names, lives and families.  They love each other, pay taxes, mow the lawn, go to church (or not), give to charities, and obey the law. You are denying them legal rights that any two people who are committed to caring for one another deserve. Marriage is a legal contract that entitles people to 1138 rights under Federal Law. You want to stop people from having the right to protect each other financially and legally, and you wonder why people call you a bigot? Do you really have to wonder? Traditional marriage? Marriage is defined in the social context of the times. It has been many things, some of them quite ugly. When two people love each other so much that they are willing to be financially responsible for each other, that deserves legal and social recognition.

Tolerance is a one way street?  I must read over 50 gay news sites and blogs. Have I just gotten lucky that most of them are people who are trying to explain that they are human and deserve, what was that word Maggie, “Respect?” Is it respect when Pastor Steven Anderson says that gays should be murdered? Is it respect when readers will write comments like “homosexuals are the turds that you can’t get to flush down the toilet?”  Is it respect when gay teens have a suicide rate four times higher than their peers? When they are bullied and taunted every day? Is it respect when your parents throw you out, or worse, beat you? Is it respect when your employer fires you because of your sexual orientation or gender identity? Is it respect when a couple is arrested for a peck on the cheek? Is it respect when you are a gay soldier and fellow soldiers abuse you, knowing that you can’t tell?

Wouldn’t fundamental decency mean giving everyone equal rights? Maggie, you are either naive or a master at whimpering foul. When you have made it your life’s work to deny people rights, they are not going to like you. It’s really that simple. Wake up and get the message. Because I guarantee you, the gay people who do grow up to be healthy and confident got there the hard way. They have been through the hell of fear and discrimination. They have thick skins and they are not afraid to fight for their rights. And in case you didn’t notice, 75% of the newest generation is with them.

Maggie, go home and take care of your own life. And let other people have their own life. That’s neighborliness.
jaysays.com contributor geekgirlgeekgirl: Jude is a straight woman, a mom and has been married for 32 years to the same wonderful man. She believes in Buddhism and attends the United Church of Christ. She is a molecular biologist, her best friend is a lesbian, and she believes that every human deserves equal rights, respect and a life free from hate, fear and discrimination. The only thing she hates is pickles. Her science blog can be found at LGBT Latest Science.

Order a NOM Sticker to Support LGBT Equality!

August 17, 2009 By: jaysays Category: Commentary, Featured, Thought of the Gay

National Organization for [Heterosexual Only] MarriageMaggie Gallagher and her National Organization for [Heterosexual Only] Marriage are campaigning to:

Recruit 2 Million Americans to Stop the Repeal of DOMA.

The campaign includes an offer of a free heterosexual-only marriage sticker, which seems like a bit of a rip-off of CREDO’s free marriage equality sticker.  NOM’s sticker reads:

Don’t Mess with Marriage!

Recently, a few folks on twitter have been attempting to get members of the LGBT community to order the stickers – in mass.  The theory being that NOM will be delayed in fulfilling the orders, exhaust a significant amount of their advertising budget and many people who support oppressive laws will not get the stickers they believe in.

Of course, the question comes up, “What to do with the stickers once we have them?”  Some have suggested a sticker burning party, but for me, I try to avoid any symbolic burning since it was done to our people for so very long.  I do have a chipper/mulcher/shredder that will handle the destruction of NOM’s message of heterosexual superiority just fine though and certainly, by the time I receive my sticker, I can think of hundreds of ways to destroy it and release my angst over their attempts to involve themselves in my life.

What will you do with your sticker?  Once you’ve ordered your sticker, please feel free to send me any pictures or video of your method of destruction or link to them in the comments here.  Hopefully, we will get lots of responses and be able to send a message to NOM – Love conquers all.

ORDER YOUR NOM STICKER NOW!!!! – I’ve ordered mine!

NOM Board Member Supports Overthrow of Governments that Support Equality

May 09, 2009 By: jaysays Category: Commentary, Featured, Thought of the Gay

National Organization for [Heterosexual Only] MarriageFamed science fiction author, Orson Scott Card, joined the Board of Directors for the National Organization for [Heterosexual Only] Marriage back in April.  That’s no big surprise considering Mr. Card’s history of anti-gay rhetoric; however, the big surprise is that Mr. Card has written words that seem contrary to NOM’s “Main Message.”  According to NOM’s website, one aspect of their “Main Message” is thus:

Gays and Lesbians have a right to live as they choose; they don’t have a right to redefine marriage for the rest of us.

However, in spite of NOM’s claim that they believe gays and lesbians have the right to live as they choose, their own Board Member had this to say about gays and lesbians:

Laws against homosexual behavior should remain on the books…to be used when necessary to send a clear message that those who flagrantly violate society’s regulation of sexual behavior cannot be permitted to remain as acceptable, equal citizens. [The Hypocrites of Homosexuality, by Orson Scott Card.]

This comment makes it clear that NOM recognizes that LGBT people are not equal in the eyes of the law and that their intent is to keep it that way.  As if that wasn’t scary enough, Mr. Card has suggested an overthrow of the U.S. Government should it recognize gay marriage, giving Marion Barry’s claim of a Civil War of gay marriage an eerie truth.

Regardless of law, marriage has only one definition, and any government that attempts to change it is my mortal enemy. I will act to destroy that government and bring it down, so it can be replaced with a government that will respect and support marriage… [State Job is Not to Redefine Marriage, by Orson Scott Card.]

For those sending money to NOM, you are supporting an anti-American organization which indicates that it would rather overthrow the government than be part of a government of equality.

There are other groups which have used such ideology, one of which resulted in the U.S. led war in Afghanistan. NOM is claiming one message that appears to be moderate to those that are undecided about gay marriage, but the truth is they are radical extremists interested in a government which is representative of only one view, “NOM is better than everyone else.”

NOM Accuses LGBT Activists of Bribing New Hampshire Legislature

May 09, 2009 By: jaysays Category: Commentary, Thought of the Gay

National Organization for [Heterosexual Only] MarriageJust when you thought it was safe to turn on your T.V., the National Organization for [Heterosexual Only] Marriage (“NOM”) has released another television ad.  The new ad targets New Hampshire Governor Lynch for his change of heart on gay marriage and makes the outlandish suggestion that gay activists bribed the New Hampshire legislature.

Although NOM’s poll numbers continue to decline, they insist on using lies and deception to attempt to convince moderates to come to their side.  By their own admission on their website, NOM indicates that whenever they say “ban gay marriage” they “lose about ten percentage points in the polls.” So they solve the problem by releasing videos like this, associating gay rights with corruption:

NOM’s efforts at answering the “difficult” questions have proven to be just as irrational as their ad campaign.  For example, on their website they try to answer the question “Who gets harmed by same sex marriage?”  The answers are as ridiculous as the “Gathering Storm” video:

  • Who gets harmed? The people of this state who lose our right to define marriage as the union of husband and wife, that’s who.
  • One thing is for sure: The people of this state will lose our right to keep marriage as the union of a husband and wife. That’s not right.

Perhaps even more ridiculous, NOM actually lists one of it’s main messages as, “Marriage is about bringing together men and women so children can have mothers and fathers.”  Now, forgive my sarcasm, but… Yeah, every married person I’ve ever met has stated they got married for the purpose of having children.  It is very obvious that the cause of children is marriage and children are impossible without it.

Now, I’ll concede that there have been answers such as, “I was pregnant,” but generally, when you ask a married person why they chose to marry, the response is more like, “I was in love.”