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Why Linux Will Never Take Over Windows

October 02, 2008 By: jaysays Category: Commentary, Thought of the Gay

I’ve made an observation as a perspective former Windows Vista user who is generally considered to be computer smart. I’m considering *upgrading* to OpenSuse. I reviewed the Live CD but couldn’t get some software to install and somewhere in my head some magical thing happened and I thought, well, guess I better install the full edition.   I did so, and then began sorting through the enormous amount of new terminology like: repositories; command line; GNOME; KDE and a plethora of other things I’d never claim to understand.  I’ve read everything I can think of to read and then some… So, knowing that the following will result in a lot of hate mail from all sorts of Dungeons and Dragons folks…. here is what I’ve learned (or haven’t learned):

  • Linux people are way too smart to write tutorials and certainly should not try to put together a simple installation guide – it’s complex and there are too many choices.
  • Linux people are outrageously snobbish when it comes to their computer preferences. It’s not if it works, but rather, anything else is rubbish…
  • A step by step screen shot guide stating “choose this option” is impossible or “do this” because the OS is so customizable.
  • GNOME or KDE – how should I know which one I prefer, particularly when everyone is so certain that their opinion is RIGHT.
  • WTF is all this talk about the command lines and where in the world do you type them?  I tried in BOTH Command Prompt programs installed on my OpenSuse 11.0 with GNOME Desktop (damn that’s a lot to say).  Both times I was told the command “make” does not exist.  Uhm… that’s what the tutorials said to type?
  • To install my computer hardware with Opensuse I have to know way too much about the hardware, including things like manufacturer, version numbers, if the firmware is firm????
  • To install my wireless card from Broadcom I apparently need ndiswrapper which is impossible to install based upon the tutorial distributed with the download (see command line problems above)  When you put it in the command prompt (I call it that due to windows comfort zone and I can’t remember what linux folks call it) you get an error message… it’s not like I know what “ls /blah/blah blah –r /ndiswrapper to the power of 60 with a test of lime” does as a command.
  • The GUI is no more impresive or less impressive than any other GUI and all the focus on “pretty” things makes me crazy. I just expect performance.
  • Too many decisions have to be made for Linux to ever replace Mac OS or Windows. All the options are very overwhelming – even to dorks like me who love options…
  • What should I do about partition based or LVM based and what is LVM and what the hell does it matter?
  • A swap Partition? Seriously… what the hell is that and why when trying to specify partitions does it appear that I have a much larger harddrive than I actually do? How is it partitioning space that doesn’t exist.
  • Installing and using Linux can drive a sane person to murder a herd of nuns using a toothpick and a can of raid – for which I’m very very sorry.
  • Once installed and played with for hours upon hours, my computer is still unusable, I don’t have wireless networking, I can’t connect to my work network even with the wire plugged in and I have 20% less hair than when I started.  Further, the Linux install did not overwrite my Vista installation and when I tried to delete the partition with windows I received a rather threatening message saying it’s ok to do that, but it’s not recommended.  What!?!?!  WHAT!??!!  Why would I do something you don’t recommend when I know nothing about your software (is it ok to call it software or will I get hate mail from Linux folks?)
  • To no longer use Windows, I’m spending an awful lot of time trying to find and install software to emulate windows or allow windows drivers to work with my hardware.
  • Linux has apparently never heard of Plug and Play.

Options are generally a good thing.  For example, would you like the grey shirt or the blue shirt?  But if asked if you would like any one of several hundred different shirts, it may take a while to decide.  So, if you are a Windows user looking for an alternate OS, be warned.  Even computer dorks like myself can’t handle the annoyance of changing.  Now… I have to figure out how to uninstall Linux…